lost and confused

The past three weeks I have been home have been somehwat challenging. I didn't consider how difficult it wold be to settle in after the adventure that I had. With minimal availabilities to apply for, I think I need to find a new action plan. I have given myself until early/mid July to get myself work, if not, i'm going to jump on a plane and travel, and hope that I can pick up some work along the way. 

In the meantime, I am getting through my 'shit list' of things to do while I am home. Spending time with the people I missed the most while away and thinking of harder times I have gotten through.

It's difficult because I do not have work to keep my mind occupied, and it's easy to worry about what's going to happen next. I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that everything will work out fine in it's own time. Now it's time to reflect on what has been and what will be, and work on continuing the dream.

With few (no) developments to report on, i'm going to keep on doing my best and hope that someone is wiling to give me a chance, as a new OWSI, just as Andy gave me the chance in accepting me for the internship program.

If there is a will, there is a way... 

Love Kass

be glittery

Another week at home down, another week of lazing around. It’s cold, and I have lacked all motivation in getting into a healthy routine. I have definitely beaten myself up a lot this past week and let my thoughts dominate my reality. I could see it happening and I knew exactly what I had to do to pull myself out, but it was so much easier just to stay in bed.

Later in the week I got out of the house to celebrate two important birthday’s. I went to my best mates house and caught up with his and his partner’s families, who are virtually an extension of me as we have all grown up together. It was great to enjoy an Aussie bbq and many good laughs.

The following evening was my mum’s birthday, which so far, I have made it home for every year I am away. I spent the day out fishing with my mate on his new boat, doing exactly what she wishes she was doing! She messaged me through the day to find out where we were fishing, what bait we were using, what we had caught etc. as she lived vicariously through me for the day! 

I’ve hit a small snag on a job this week, however it just proved far to expensive of an outlay for the return. It was a four week project in Cuba. It is in the part of the world which i desperately want to be, and would have been a good start for me, and then I could move around from there. However with expenses in getting me there exceeding $4,000 for 4 weeks work returning less than a couple of hundred a week, it was by no means viable. Had it been long term, I could have gone, however I have had to determine where I draw the line for my expenses outlay v. “experience”. It’s an interesting time, taking suggestions and tips from diving mentors I had met along the way.... 

In the back of my mind however I was busy worrying about something else. Some medical results. Whether I should even be applying for jobs, or waiting until all the results are back. As I have previously written about, before leaving for the Maldives I had a health scare. I decided to go to the Maldives and enjoy my life and deal with what may be when I got back. Now that i’m back it was time to deal with that elephant in the corner. I had the test done on Thursday and it was today that I got the results back. I am happy to report that the results have gone from possible high grade pre-cancerous cells, to low grade. Further investigation is required and I will be headed to the hospital in the coming weeks to be poked and prodded to get an accurate diagnosis. Feeling much lighter about the situation at hand.

Since coming home, I really needed some sort of push of inspiration. To stop me laying around in bed snacking, to get me off my ass and start feeling good again. It was no more turquoise waters and warm sunny days, no more daily diving and guitar sessions with my pals, and I needed to suck it up. Who would have thought tucked up in bed watching reality TV show Masterchef that some words of wisdom from a world famous chef would be enough for me to kick over? I rarely, if ever watch TV, I believe its all a load of brainwashing garbage, but here I was... One of the contestants was having a bad day and the chef came out and said something along the lines of ‘it’s easy to beat yourself up about it, but you have to pull yourself up out of it’. 

When I heard those word, I contemplated them so much deeper. How beating yourself up is a cop-out, the easy action, I considered how piss-weak it was of me to just lay around beating myself up about things that I could easily change, but didn’t bother to. 

I know it’s all to common where we have moments when we are down, and sometimes we  bask in those feelings. But we need to draw a line on how long we stay down for and then pull ourselves back up. I’ve recognised i’m just having a lull at the moment.  It can’t be ‘all that glitters’ all the time. With a brighter looking bill of health, contemplation on some simple truths, I think i’m ready to turn it back around, make it glittery no matter what the conditions.

Happiness is a choice. Even if you are sad, be happy about being sad.

Still chasing the dream....

Kass xx

post Maldives depression

It is taking me quite a lot of courage to continue on writing this bog. Back at home, in cold Brisbane, rugged up in a blanket in my bed.. not so inspiring as the turquoise waters and endless ocean.

On my last evening in the Maldives, I enjoyed some BBQ fish on the beach with some of my pals. What would it be without a final midnight swim and making the most of the last hours I had left. It didn’t seem real, that I would actually walking away from Paradise and not coming back. I think I was in denial. I avoided saying goodbye as much as possible and when I did depart, it was with a ‘I’ll see you somewhere around the world in the next few years’. It was the type of place which attracted travelers. People who would work there for perhaps a couple of years, before moving onto the next. I can’t imagine not seeing my closest LG friends again, and I know that we will keep in touch and catch up along our way; or, at least that thought gives me some condolence. The last few days in the Maldives have proven to be very memorable. When I close my eyes, all I see is the blue seas, starry skies and glowing plankton in the sea. I still feel like a part of me is there, that I haven’t completely left. I think I will carry this forever.

Tuesday morning I was rudely put on a 6am staff charter seaplane, which meant i had 17 hours in Male until my flight! After some stuffing around, I ended up spending from about 9am - 7pm at a nearby hotel and sleeping by a swimming pool in the cool and overcast weather. It ended up being an expensive day, long and very tiring. Reality was starting to hit. Though I wanted the transit to be over and for me to be home already, I was starting to feel a hole in my heart, knowing I wouldn’t be going home to LG.

After a few hours at the airport, I headed to board my plane. Unfortunately I couldn’t make the most of the inexpensive cafe Patron (Tequila), as I was changing flights in Kuala Lumpur - where it happened to be more than double in price. After a rough flight to KL, with little sleep, I was worrying about collecting my bags and checking into my next flight in enough time. Thankfully my transit went quite smoothly and I was immediately making the most of a great wifi signal. The final leg home and I had a spare seat next to me, so I alternated between watching an hour of a movie, and sleeping for an hour. We arrived earlier than planned which was nice, but as per usual, the airspace in Brisbane was congested so we had to circle for 20 minutes before hitting the ground.

It was a quick walk through immigration, bag collection and then slid smoothly through customs. A teary arrival at the gate, before the long awaited drive home. The air was cool and unfamiliar, and I started to feel quite emotional about not being on my island home.

Thursday through Monday have been a flurry of social activity. Plenty of partying, napping, and eating far too much food. A few more days to catch up with the closest friends in my life, before kicking back and spending it with the absolute nearest and dearest to me, preferably by the beach! All the while, trying to figure out where the next step is going to be to.. There are plenty of ideas, but nothing really grabbing.

Each day my heart is a little sadder for having left the Maldives. I could nearly cry at the thought of no longer being there, but whether I like it or not, it’s time to move on. I had the most beautiful experiences of my life, in location I could only ever dream of existing. It’s time to give thanks, and release. 

K xx

Maldives - The final chapter

Monday evening I was invited to buffet dinner in he resort and enjoyed a wonderful feast. I think I ate my weight in pork - a real treat when you haven't had any for nearly 3 months! I completely gorged and don’t regret a thing! 

Tuesday I had a day off and I went on the boat for a private trip where we did three incredible dives. It was a long day, and I needed another day off to recover!  The first dive was a wreck, the second one was in a channel and the third one was a wall. The most incredible dive was the second one in the channel, there were half a dozen sharks, one came just a few short meters from me and I was pretty cool... until its eye ball connected with my eye ball! It was incredibly unnerving! We also saw a giant sting ray, a Massive Napoleon and Eagle rays. There was a mega strong current which when we then drifted in after holding on to watch the sharks, it was very cool. 

Between this dive and our last for the day, we saw dozens upon dozens of dolphins swimming past the boat. We jumped off with our snorkel gear and watched them swim and heard them speak, just beautiful. Then when we got back on the boat we watched them show off, flipping through the air. The third dive was very memorable, amongst all of the amazing creatures we saw, nothing compares to the 15-20 giant sea turtles, they were about the size of a Daewoo matiz! I was very happy to enjoy three wonderful dives at sites I hadn’t been to all before leaving the Maldives.

For the rest of the week I was teaching an open water course to some staff at the resort, I call them the dudes. They were great to teach and were so thankful at the end of the course. One of them in particular gave a very heartfelt thanks and said how he will always remember this experience. It was very touching.

Thursday evening we had a little gathering to farewell us interns. A ‘crepe party’. It was in the living room of our apartment block and sweet and savory crepes were all over the place, in and around all faces. We experimented with some combinations - cheese and nutella, nutella cheese and banana to name a few. It was a cruisy evening with people coming and going, some light music in the background and then of course me and the boys doing wheelies on bicycles out the front! haha

Most significant this week is that I achieved a couple of big personal milestones. This left me feeling very liberated! I can very happily leave here filling fufilled. 

Towards the end of the week I was so exhausted that I was really struggling to get through social evenings, shocking! I know... you can imagine just how tired I must have been!Sunday evening was the cocktail evening where I enjoyed my last glasses of Riesling, the sunset at Blu beach and the delicious finger food. Afterwards I met some of my pals where we chilled out on the beach having lots of laughs an good times.

Its now Monday, and to start the day I enjoyed an incredible breakfast with two of my good friends here at Blu beach. I have then spent the rest of the day pottering about and packing which I have really enjoyed. I find out this evening what time I depart tomorrow, fingers crossed it should be a late afternoon seaplane flight as I have a 9.30pm international one. I don’t know what Im going to do when I see a busy city, i think i will be dazed and confused as i venture out of my island home, back into the big world! 

I am happy to say that three months here has not flown by. In fact, it feels like it was much longer. It was jam packed and full of so much variety. I had times of long days, studying at night, stressing over exams and assessments, learning how to run the dive centre as well as conduct courses; late nights of laugher and stories over cold beers in the living room; evenings at the beach playing guitar and singing under a starlit sky; most importantly making friends who I feel that so many of them I will meet again in my travels.

There are some things that I am not going to miss, but thankfully its not  a lot. I don’t think its really going to hit me until i’ve settled in a couple days back home just how much it hurts me to be away from this life and even more so the people. 

There are many crazy and hilarious stories which are yet to be told, which I cant wait to share when i’m back home having a few drinks catching up on lost time with my pals.

Now it’s time to start looking for, and applying for jobs. If I don’t have something to fall into in July, I think i’m just going to hit the road and start traveling and see what I can pick up along the way. Until then, its parties, concerts and fun times when i’m home!

Tonight the boys are having a bbq on the beach which is one of my most favorite things here and I am so happy I get to enjoy this one more time. Grilled fish on the bbq with a backdrop of turquoise blue waters and a starry sky. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity to do what I am doing. For someone with virtually no experience, to ask for a chance, and be given that chance in one of the most incredible locations in the world is just mind blowing. Now i’m a dive instructor, and its time to travel the world and continue to do what I love.

Do what you love. 

Kassie xx

recognise the miracles in your life, and be one...

Monday afternoon I went for a second dive with the couple I had dived with the day before. It started off slowly and surely and before long, we had gone down to a depth of 10m. This was such a wonderful achievement for them and I was so honored to be a part of their experience. It was incredibly rewarding. A highlight was that we saw a flounder which looks like it was a fish that had been sat on by a fat person with two googley eyes on top!

Tuesday I enjoyed a day off and was so fortunate to squeeze into a space in the spa for a massage. I thought I would lash out and treat myself before I left, and I am so glad that I did. I like my massages very firm and what I got was a perfect combination of both firm, and relaxing. I could have fallen asleep as all the pains and aches were soothed away. As I received the massage in an outdoor villa, it began to rain which just added to the tranquility. It was bliss.

Wednesday morning I went on my first discovery dive. This is where it is a staff only trip and we go to a new destination and scope out the place to create a new dive site for guests. The first site we went to was in Raa Atoll. This site was deep, beyond 30m and consisted of to Tila’s (pinnacles). I am proud to say that this was the best dive site that I have had in the Maldives. We had everything from the small gorgeous nudibranches - the best I have seen; right up to the big stuff like a Napoleon fish, Tuna’s hunting smaller fish, Eagle ray’s, beautiful soft and hard corals, scorpion fish and everything in between. It was so diverse. I loved being able to explore here. Between dives we played music and went to our next stop in our atoll, Baa Atoll. It was a place where the recreation team have been for a fishing trip, however never catch anything, so they believe that there are sharks as there is a channel = strong currents, which usually equals sharks. We saw an Eagle ray and all explore together as one big team. It wasn’t great, not much to look at along the reef, but then one of the guys took off and starting to signal to us there was a shark. We all swam at light speed to hopefully catch a glance... Before long we all saw the giant 2+ meter nurse shark hiding under a coral formation. Instantly I thought, it is far more threatened by us, then we should ever be of them. We took lots of photos through every corner we could before ending or dive. What a great morning of diving.

When we got back to the resort, I got off the boat I had my lovely new diver friends looking for me to join them for lunch. We enjoyed the afternoon eating delicious meals at Blu beach and enjoying some sun and salt water and lots of great conversation. Later that evening I was invited to join for dinner which was such a delightful treat. The spoils have been continuing and I have just been overflowing with joy and gratitude. We enjoyed the Bollywood inspired buffet dinner at Cafe Landaa where the two Aussie’s also joined us. The staff danced and we ate... and ate... and ate. I have not been so full since I lived in Italy, where after a family meal it would feel like the skin covering my stomach was about to burst open. We then went on to enjoy a sheesha at Al Barakat restaurant before retiring for the evening.

The following day I sadly bid my new friends farewell, and was given a very heartfelt handwritten note. I just love these to pieces. Thursday and friday saw me completing more staff courses. It is quite a juggling act trying to keep everyone in order and co-ordinating who does what and how many assistants I need when each member is progressing at a different level. It is very interesting to learn how to manage these aspects of diving.

Saturday morning before I got out of bed, I gave thanks for all the wonderful things in my life and for all the wonderful gifts I had recieved. The events which have put me where I am, whether they were good or bad. I was confused about what to do next, and I asked to be given signs through the day, that I would recognize which direction I should be heading.  I asked for them to be not too painful, as usually I find it is through hardship, we find the light. I had been so indecisive through the week, not yet booked my flight home, as I just couldn't help but shake this feeling that I was waiting for something to intervene. 

First thing that morning, I was asked to conduct swimming lessons with a guest who was slightly lacking confidence in the water. We met at the guest pool and we hit it off immediately. We got talking and swimming, and talking and swimming. It was so important that we built a relationship on trust before we even got into the hard stuff and before long it was blossoming into a kind friendship. I love recognizing a kindred soul in another. I was booked again for the following morning and asked to join for breakfast before we began the lesson. Since arriving, I have wanted to enjoy breakfast at the Cafe more than any of the other outlets. Everyone raves about the food and variety and I was jumping with joy that I had this invitation extended to me.

In the afternoon it was quiet at the dive centre and I signed up a new arrival family for diving. The mother and youngest daughter stayed at the centre while the father and two elder kids went for a dive. I started chatting to the mother and of course was smitten with the gorgeous little 2 year old girl. The mother was from Jamaica and we discussed the Caribbean and how she could imagine me living there for a very long time and enjoying the laid back lifestyle. She also mentioned about the Bahamas having great turtle rehabilitation programs and with not another word, I was sold! Mexico / Caribbean is where I want to be next.

In the afternoon, I hit some stormy water (metaphorically) and was very unhappy. Someone was being unreasonably difficult. Thankfully, I remembered the signs which I asked for that morning, and instead of completely loosing my cool, I thanked for the sign, and sucked it up. When I got home that night, I immediately booked my flight home. It was the push I needed, a good reminder of why I am doing what I am doing, who I should be aligning myself with and where I should be heading. Home is ten days, I can’t believe it! But as I have been told by several wonderful people this week, this is just the beginning for me; and this, I believe.

Sunday morning I met my lovely new friend at the cafe and enjoyed one, if not the very best breakfast I have ever had. I went straight for the cheese and cold cut meats, dolmades and hummus. I then had pastries, eggs, REAL bacon (not fake-on aka turkey bacon) fresh juice, coffee and so much more. The food was definitely one thing, the company and the conversation was another. I say this more and more often, the company which I share and the friends that I have made while being here, have been so rewarding and I learn and grow so much from each person that I meet. This wonderful woman made me miss my mummy, but also feel so much thanks for all that she does for me. Marce is going to get one great big hug when I get home (and T-dog too!) AKA Mum and Dad. After our wonderful breakfast date, we hit the pool and made some wonderful progress. Refining technique, and improving nearly 100% on the day before. I was incredibly proud of her, and just quietly, myself. Booked again for Monday afternoon, I do look forward to the leaps and bounds we will make again tomorrow.

Before leaving the guest pool, I met a very beautiful mother and her 2 year old son. After giggling and splashing in the water her gorgeous boy, we spoke about swimming and diving and then moved onto resorts and her previous holidays. She mentioned how she used to always holiday in the Bahamas and the Caribbean, and mentioned to me that they do a nice caring for turtles over there! Two complete strangers in two days! Things were starting to become pretty clear on where I should be heading next. How wonderful!

Sunday (today) evening, after a long nearly 12 hour day, all I wanted to do was sleep. My mind was so busy with so many thoughts, laying down and writing my blog and pottering about has been a good start in winding down.

Tomorrow morning, I have a late start thank goodness, my first half day since being here. If my mind keeps me from sleeping early tonight, at least I should have a late sleep in tomorrow.

Whether you speak to the universe, pray to God, or wish upon stars....  When I give thanks, ask for help, or request signs to help guide me; I get them, and you will to. The hardest part is being able to recognize them. They will never come in way in which you would expect, and perhaps many of the time they go unnoticed. I am so thankful that I was able to recognise in the day or two following when I had requested some guidance, I was reminded of why I chose to follow this lifestyle, the type of people I should be aligning myself with, and those I should not. I was given guidance that perhaps the Caribbean is the place that aligns with my true intentions. 

Many things I had realisations on this week, and I am so glad that they were not too painful.  I've realised that it is a strong emotion - usually a negative one, that propels us and pushes us in the direction we need to go. I've experienced both pain and pleasure this week, but how else do we truly appreciate the light without experiencing the dark? 

We live in a word of duality, and I always refer to one of my favorite quotes when times are hard; "It is always the darkest before the dawn".

Recognise the miracles in your life, and be one.

Lots of love, Kassie

just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

The week began again on Monday and thankfully guest numbers were continuing to grow in the dive centre. I was due for a day off however commitments kept me busy in the dive centre. I went 12 days without a day off which was really getting harder each day but I had to “just keep swimming, just keep swimming...” I met a couple on the Sunday prior and took then diving over two and a half days which was really enjoyable. Whilst I enjoy the challenge of working with people who at first find diving very difficult and foreign, it is a very welcome change to dive with first timers who were born for the water. They were very lovely and we had a wonderful couple of days diving together. Come Wednesday, I met two of the most gorgeous men who were here on their honeymoon and wanted to give diving a try. We started with an introduction to diving and had a wonderful dive together, despite the fact we were against a strong current for the most part. They had perfect skill levels for beginners and decided to continue on and do a course with me. We spent the next two full days in the water, both diving and spending lots of time talking and laughing, and singing ‘i’m a little tea pot’.

In the first morning in the water, I was given an assistant. First I gave a briefing on the role I required and what assistance to render, as well as a very detailed explanation of an air depletion skill that we would be conducting underwater. When the guests arrived, I gave a very thorough explanation of everything we would be doing and provided a lot of emphasis on the air depletion skill. The reason for this, is as I turn the air tank off underwater, usually this would quite worry some people. I reiterated that there is no time that you actually go without any air, as the moment the resistance is strong, as you exhale your last breath, the tank is turned back on ready for your next inhale. In my demonstration of the skill with my assistant, my air tank was turned off, I had no air left and I signaled out of air - in order for the assistant to turn the tank back on. I took another breath and the tank was still empty. I signaled again, then waited a moment and took another breath, still no air in the tank. By this time some 10-15 seconds had passed and I had absolutely no breath. I had no other option but to turn around to the assistant and grab his alternate and start breathing while grabbing him and making a range of signals to indicate turning my tank back on, all while remaining completely calm in front of the guest students, when being calm was not my first natural response.

I turned to them, ready to complete the exercise with them, anxious and nervous as to whether or not they would be happy to continue after the disaster of a demonstration. It would have been a completely valid reason to cancel the rest of the course. Thankfully they were comfortable to complete the skill and see out the end of the course despite the disaster. I was livid, however didn’t budge on my professionalism. The guests were very unhappy with the “assistant” and ensured that he would not be joining in on any further diving activities. They were so happy with everything bar this, and we had such a wonderful and fun time diving together.

In a generous extension of kindness, they ordered iced coffee delivered to the dive center for me, we enjoyed cocktails and large quantities of riesling and sheesha in the evening. The following day I was invited to spend the afternoon at the guest beach with them where I was pampered so well, I didn't know what to do. Within the couple of hours we lazed at the beach, I had my sunglasses cleaned, was waited on with frozen grapes, ice cream, mint cucumber ice smoothie, and more - all complimentary. We then enjoyed wine, more cocktails and bar snacks whilst swimming until a big storm hit. We ran for cover, dropped all of our things and then jumped in the restaurant pool, swimming in the rain. It was heavenly. We had long and wonderful conversations and so many laughs. We picked it up again laster that night with dessert and a cocktail while watching the shark feeding at the sea bar. I was spoilt rotten, not only with the wonderful company and friendships that was formed, but the extension of gratuities over three days, I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Not only was this some of the most wonderful times spent during the week, but for the entire time of my stay. Wonderful memories and I am forever grateful. I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the kindest and fun loving people, and for that, despite all the diving and traveling I have done, this is what tops the crop. Some wonderful friendships, and open arms to visit and catch up in the future, which I very hope I can, whether it be this year or in 5 years. It means so much to me to have this kindness extended to me.

On Saturday evening the dive team had arranged to go to a local resort for dinner. We get special rates and it was thought to be nice if we all go out together and enjoy dinner at a resort restaurant. We pooled the tips we had received for the month so far which funded the evening. We went by speedboat and enjoyed a buffet dinner. It was nothing spectacular, and i think often the staff food we receive is much nicer, but the experience of sharing a meal together out of our island home was a good experience. It was great to see another resort in the maldives, and it was very different to ours. I think that after working in the four Seasons I am a little bit spoiled! It was great to go somewhere else, but it was even better to come back and pull up at home in Landaa Giraavaru.

Sunday I had a busy day of discover diving courses with some new guests I had happened to meet whilst I enjoyed my day at the staff beach with the boys. I told my manager that she will have to send me there more often to enjoy the good life as I easily meet and greet new guests and invite people to try diving with me ;) obviously that would never happen but it was worth the try! In the morning, I had a gorgeous couple who were both quite nervous about the experience. I spent at least an extra hour (which was 3 hours in total) than usual to go through the skills and have a 3 meter dive to ease them into the experience. At the beginning it was looking very unsure if they would be interested in continuing, however with lots of TLC, they didn’t want it to end and have booked me for tomorrow. This is just the most wonderful thing to experience, seeing the transformation in people and changing their lives for the better.

Sunday evening was the cocktail party and it was great to catch up with the gorgeous couple I had taken diving that day. Also running into a couple from Brisbane who were just hilarious and another aussie couple from Melbourne who used to work for the same company I did a few years back and we even know the same people! Such a small world! After many laughs amongst the Aussie troops, we were invited back to have dinner and more drinks at one of the guest rooms. I was given approval by management with a 12am curfew. We walked along the beach and the men ordered a feast of in room dining. The room was spectacular to say the least, if I could ever be so lucky... I wouldnt even know where to begin the description of the place.... a raised sun bed above the private pool, the outdoor two level area with hammocks and sun lounges, the princess bed inside and I can only imagine the rest, it was just incredible. We sat outside eating and drinking which was just a delight. The Aussies were hilarious and for every song that played, we became best friends - from Chet Faker to Temper Trap, I was in music heaven. After the Aussies left it was the three of us and it was wonderful to get to know each other before retreating for the night after being insisted on being walked home... such sweethearts.

It’s fair to say that I feel like I have really found my groove this week. In diving, in the running of the dive centre, co-ordinating courses and schedules, and just being me. Happy, fun loving, social butterfly, me. After having a little rough patch two weeks ago, it’s nice to be back. 

Enjoy every moment, frolic in the rain and sing out loud. Bring out the best in others, and it brings out the best in you. Let your light shine!

Love love love love love Kassie xx

don't wish, do...

Courses, courses, and more courses! Gaining work experience as a dive instructor has been in full swing this week. It has been quiet on the guest side, and therefore staff are lining up out the door to get their courses completed.  

Tuesday I was facilitating an Emergency First Response Course (EFR) for 6 staff! I had little sleep the night before as I was worrying if I would be able to pull it together. I had two assistants and I laid out the course similar to how the last one had I assisted was, though just changed around some of the roles. It felt good to be standing in front of a class and providing new knowledge and teaching skills, and it all being quite fresh as I had only being involved in the same course a couple of weeks earlier. The day run smoothly and everyone performed well with little to no mistakes, which I felt was a compliment to how I had been teaching. I quite like this course, and each time I teach it, I retain more information about primary and secondary care and body systems. I am sure I have learnt more valuable information and skills in the past 3 months than I did in my 12 years of schooling! But thats a different topic.

With the abundance of dive courses this week, I have been both acting as the lead instructor on some, and assisting a colleague instructor on others. I seem to have the navigation adventure dive down pack after doing multiple in one week, plus a few other adventure dives in the advance diver course. Its wonderful to be able to not only impart the PADI teachings, but to incorporate hints or tips from my own experience, and so far I hear it has really helped. Even sharing stories from my own experiences in the past couple of months, has really helped people conquer their fears and try something new. I love this. We have also had 10+ young chaps in doing their open water course which has been interesting. It has been very challenging, managing and co-ordinating the schedules, as many people are at different stages of the course. Also, with english is a second language, a lot of the dive theory has taken longer than normal. It is wonderful to see though, as they start to grow and improve and are able to answer your quiz questions correctly - you are so proud!

I had one theory class with one student this week, and seemed to really struggle to comprehend a couple of dive theory topics. So like a teacher, I whipped out the white board marker and started to draw diagrams and pictures, explaining the key concepts - just as my instructor did to me in my Divemaster course only a couple on months ago. It was incredible how quickly the  tables had turned. In doing so, it is the greatest reward when someone who didn’t understand, then understands. It means I am doing my job well, and that’s just tops. I think I officially hit teacher status on Thursday when I was going through an exam and I asked what answer you got from question number A. Yep, number A, it happened.

Come Saturday, I was lucky enough to be put on the Hanifaru Manta station clean up. In other words, there is a bay where Manta’s and whale shark come to feed off plankton between June - September. The Four Seasons a long with four other resorts met at Hanifaru which is the only time you are allowed there, to do a clean up. Afterwards when the manta’s and whale sharks come by, they have a lovely environment to bask in! Many cleaned the atoll all day, and we did two dives in the afternoon to collect garbage and to clean corals. It was a good thing that in from both dives, I collected no more than one beer can. A couple of colleagues collected a fair few fishing nets and lines which are the most harmful, so I guess that it was a good thing that there was little to collect. It was a fun day, with a picnic lunch and a group of experienced staff divers. Even better, the sun was out again and we had the lovely sun deck to enjoy for the journey.

At the end of our second dive, on our way back to our resort, the boat staff saw a Manta in the water. In no time at all, me and the three staff from the manta trust all jumped in the water and looked for it. After swimming some distance from the boat, this giant magnificent creature swam by us. It was just wonderful to finish the day with a close encounter. I took a video however I accidentally deleted it upon coming to the surface. Oh well, at least I have the memory. I hope there are at least a few more of these close encounters before I leave.

Its been a tiring week and it doesn't look like my day off will be coming any day soon which blows, I could really do with some R&R. On the bright side, the guest numbers have picked up and I have a new course which started today and the couple are really great in the water which makes things so much more enjoyable and easier - especially in comparison to the 9 chinese first time divers we had this morning. Thats some experience right there. Emoji face. 

This week has also been a big week of love and loss, and reminders of some wonderful people who have passed. Many people are leaving the resort this month which is sad, especially for the ones I like. As much as I love it here and I could very much come accustomed to the way of life, I know I could probably find something much more suited for me. Here, you are like family however, you work together, you live together and you socialize together. Everyone knows who you are, what you do - All. The. Time. Its a little weird. You talk work most of the time and it never seems to end. I was thinking last night that it sort of felt like I was living in a world of lemmings, or sims. It didn’t quite seem like real life. You can easily forget what its like “on the outside” and everything seems much more intensified. 

As the rest of my time here diminishes, many people are telling me to ‘make the most of it’. This makes me reflect on the past couple of months, and you know what - I have absolutely made the most of every day here since I arrived. It is so fulfilling to have that, no regrets, no ‘i wish i had’ or ‘i should have done’ on anything. When something came up, I jumped at the chance to do it. I spent evenings out making new friends and hanging out at the beach, not sitting in my room watching movies on my laptop. I stayed in the cafe long after I had finished my meal to continue conversations, I would get interrupted on my way to exchanging my uniform to change course and do something else, and I have loved every moment. The friends I have made here have become family, in fact I see and spend more time with them than my own. 

Where to next is still the million dollar question. Until then, i’m just going to release and go with the flow of the universe and trust in what will be will be. There is no use me worrying and being stressed about the next couple of months ahead.  We can only do what we can do. Worrying will only hinder our ability to move forward. 

Relax, and trust that everything will work out exactly as it should.

Wishing you an abundance of opportunities,

Love Kass xx