I have had an incredibly overwhelming week, from booking my flights to Greece, arriving here and everything that has happened in between. On the day of my flight, I had still not heard the results of my biopsy, so I had to follow this up myself. At midday the results had come through, yet due to the time constraints I could not see the specialist at the hospital and therefore had them sent to my GP.
The results that came back were CIN3, which, well, are not good. In short, I have to have part of my womb removed. I was old to cancel my trip and to have the surgery the following week. I could not quite get my head around this concept as my plane was leaving in only a few hours. After seeking some specialist advice, and consulting my 3 closest loves, I virtually had the decision made for me as I was an emotional wreck and could hardly think or talk. I would come to Greece for a couple of months and have the operation as soon as I returned. If I was to stressed about it, I could come back and have the operation sooner.
What I was also considering with this turn of events, was the offer of a wonderful job in the Cook Islands. It was a great mentor type role with so much abundance to learn and develop my skills. The time frame would have worked well from operation - recovery - new job. I had so much going through my mind, I couldn't think reasonably, though, this I think - would have been the better decision...
In a couple of hours I was dropped at the airport and on my way. I was completely emotionally exhausted and confused. I had three flights over 28 hours. I was so happy to land in Athens where I had Alexandra and her little puppy Ralphy waiting for me. Alex was wearing ski goggles which were the closest thing to a dive mask, and was holding a sign which made me laugh. We arrived at her apartment where I could finally refresh before we went out to dinner. We enjoyed a Greek salad to which I replied "do you want some salad with that feta" It was the size of my head! I enjoyed a Gyros which was a bit fat piece of bread filled with pork or chicken, salad - the best tzatziki ever, and french fries.
By the time we got home it was midnight, which I will have to get used to again, the late living hours of Europe. Dinner around 9-10pm and home around midnight. The following day I caught an early morning, 4.5 hour ferry to Ios. Thankfully I had kind people to help me carry my two suitcases up and down the stairs. I arrived with a driver waiting for me at the port and drove me to the dive centre on Mylopotas beach. There, Andrea met me and his smile couldn't be bigger. He had been running the place for the past few weeks alone and was in dire need of my help. After a few hours of hanging around, I finally made it to my apartment where I could shower and was intending to have a sleep.
The apartment had one of the most incredible views, completely looking over Mylopotas beach. It was stunning. The room on the other hand, had left a lot to be desired! A basic bathroom, with a hand held hose for a shower where the water floods the floors. They don't even provide toilet paper! Three single beds with mattresses from the 1960's. Not even double folding a blanket under my bed sheet subsides the pain from the springs penetrating my back. Much the same for the pillow. There is no cupboard room so my clothing stays in my suitcase on the floor. Somewhat worst of all, no wifi signal. The first night I got ambushed by mosquitos in my sleep and woke up with massive lumps which felt like bruises. I couldn't take my rings off my fingers had swelled up so much, i’d never had a reaction to mosquitos before but apparently that’s pretty normal here. The mosquitos are fierce.
The past three days has seen me in tears morning and night, regretting ny decision to be here and trying to swallow the bitter pillow of "what if". What if i chose to stay home, have treatment and take the Cook Islands job. I have been completely miserable and been on the verge of booking a flight straight out of here. The job is completely autonomous, which usually I would like. However to be a new instructor, and the most experienced diver in the company, with no one superior or more experienced to refer to, is completely daunting. I wouldn't use the words professional or organized in my description of the place - but as I have been reassured - we can turn that around, and we will.
I had two days of terrible diving in bad conditions which only added to my distressed state. Our dives are done form the shore which I find difficult, in charging the breaking waves on the beach to get out and dive from there. On the boat, we have to carry all of our equipment and walk to the beach where we stand in neck deep water and load our stuff up on the boat. The boat is small and it is awkward in getting the equipment on everyone before going into the water. Everything is new, and I am completely unfamiliar. I have no doubt that in time that, I will look back on my first week here and roll my eyes at myself - but until then, i just have to take it day by day, rest and try to relax.
I had a 10 hour sleep last night which took some of the edge off today, and I think if I keep heading home form work and going straight to sleep for a few days, that should fix me up some more. Lots of rest and relaxation.
For now I need to try to chill out and just relax. Lucky I have two very special people who I am on the phone to all day every day shooting me advice and helping me to calm my mind. As I am usually told, I am far to hard on myself. Im sure its not that bad and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. I know its just like Thailand all over again, when I first arrived I completely freaked out, doubted myself and my decisions. This time next week I hope to be writing about how my life is all sunshine and rainbows!
Trying to keep that chin up and the dream alive.
Kass xx
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