It is always darkest before the dawn

Everything happens for a reason.. What will be will be.. It is always darkest before the dawn... 

My life in Greece has become a collection of cliche sayings in a bid to keep my head above the water.

From the outset, It didnt feel quite right. I should have known before accepting the offer to come, and I think I did - but I was so distracted by the summer and the friends that I would visit, or they would visit me that I dropped all my standards I held to the job. I dont know what got in to me. To have the job which I had dreamed of - everything I needed on one hand, or a fill in dodgy dive shop job to fill in the time.. I dont know what I was thinking. Hmm A summer vacation job, well thats what I was thinking - But let me tell you, having a summer vacation in Greece and working over summer vacation in Greece are two very different things. 

I am sure that if I was there under different circustances I could have had the time of my life. But after being utterly exhausted after working 10+ hour days, to go out in the evening was mostly painful, and then when it starts getting fun, having to leave your friends to go on without so you can get sleep for the big day ahead.... It was balls.

The job was painful from start to finish. I should have known better in the first place. I guess this was just a reminder of that. I didnt enjoy myself at all and thats not why I got into diving. The owners were malicious vindictive people who cared about nothing more than the money - particularly cash. In the 16 days I was there, they spoke nothing more than a few words to me - which again were all about the money. They were nothing but cold hard rude and abrupt. When it came to me leaving - I was insulted, threatened and thrown out - unpaid, kicked out of my apartment - treated like a piece of shit - which I have since found out is not unusual and I am the 10th instructor to be treated this way. The owners are not divers themselves and know nothing of the sorts - That should have been a prerequisite in my background check of them. Again, my bad. 

There are many examples and experiences I could itemise but I really couldnt be bothered. I am exhausted from the whole experience and I guess it has taught me so much. I should not have dropped my standards for any reason - it only put my life, the life of others and my happiness on the line. It has confirmed to me that I am a professional, and I won't drop those standards for myself, or for those I represent or teach. I guess it has taught me to be incedibly wary of my future choices, in jobs, in people, in friends. 

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

Thankfully the day before I left I got in touch with a very kind and professional soul who offered to pick me up and put me in the right direction - a job, a home, a way off the island, a future job in another country, so much. A background of the people I was working for and so much more. I was overwhelmed at the extended hand, someone who owes me nothing, who doesnt know me, to be willing to provide so much - thats me - thats where I align and thats the type of people I should be working with. By this stage I had already declared crisis mode and had a rough sketch of my next two weeks - calling in help from loved ones to put me up until I found my feet again - I didnt want to go back on this and I toldl her, once I find my feet I will consider taking a short term role before leaving home - just to put a nice taste in my mouth as this bad experience nearly ruined it all for me.

In a positive light, I had the pleasure of having some serious laughs, snorts and cackles with the three prawns next door. I would have been lost without them, they were always there in my emergencies (vegemite toast cravings) and when I walked out on the job. A barrell of laughs. The girls writing me a mock resume would have to be the most funniest moments in my trip. 

I went out on only a handful of occassions, and when I did it usually involved shots, cocktails and dancing on the bar  - all good times. A 2 euro Gyros on the way home was always a winner.

On my last night in Ios (which I did not know at the time) it started off pretty rough but I kept saying in the back of my head, it is for a reason. Turned out to be the most random night out - and I wish so much I hadn't been the good girl and went to bed, but stayed out wth the prawns until 8am - what a good time that would have been! It was still a great night.

There are some good memories, and thankfully they are not outweighed by the bad. Pork ribs at funpub will always be a fond memory - the best ribs I had ever eaten. Mmm....ribs....

Yesterday I caught a 6 hour ferry from Ios to Athens and was greeted by Alex's boyfriend Dim who collected me and brought me back to their apartment. I am so lucky to have good people in my life. I am so thankful. Here I will just chill out in the apartment, look for flights and ideas for travel... repack my suitcases and travel with just the one and pick up the rest before flying home.

This weekend (which is my birthday weekend) I will be spending it in Kalamatta with people I dont know. Only Alex's boyfriend, who no doubt will be the gentleman that he is and will make sure I have a very happy day, which I am very thankful for. It will be bizarre however, no friends and no family. I guess there is a first for everything.

On monday evening I wil fly to Italy where I have a long awaited reuinion with some very close friends who I nannied for 2 years ago. I can't wait to hold everyone one of them - extended family and all. There has been no place quite like Italy for rebuilding my soul.

A couple of weeks of soul building, and then who knows what may happen next, I just hope everything will fall nicely into place...

Finding joy in the struggle....

Kass xx