It is always darkest before the dawn

Everything happens for a reason.. What will be will be.. It is always darkest before the dawn... 

My life in Greece has become a collection of cliche sayings in a bid to keep my head above the water.

From the outset, It didnt feel quite right. I should have known before accepting the offer to come, and I think I did - but I was so distracted by the summer and the friends that I would visit, or they would visit me that I dropped all my standards I held to the job. I dont know what got in to me. To have the job which I had dreamed of - everything I needed on one hand, or a fill in dodgy dive shop job to fill in the time.. I dont know what I was thinking. Hmm A summer vacation job, well thats what I was thinking - But let me tell you, having a summer vacation in Greece and working over summer vacation in Greece are two very different things. 

I am sure that if I was there under different circustances I could have had the time of my life. But after being utterly exhausted after working 10+ hour days, to go out in the evening was mostly painful, and then when it starts getting fun, having to leave your friends to go on without so you can get sleep for the big day ahead.... It was balls.

The job was painful from start to finish. I should have known better in the first place. I guess this was just a reminder of that. I didnt enjoy myself at all and thats not why I got into diving. The owners were malicious vindictive people who cared about nothing more than the money - particularly cash. In the 16 days I was there, they spoke nothing more than a few words to me - which again were all about the money. They were nothing but cold hard rude and abrupt. When it came to me leaving - I was insulted, threatened and thrown out - unpaid, kicked out of my apartment - treated like a piece of shit - which I have since found out is not unusual and I am the 10th instructor to be treated this way. The owners are not divers themselves and know nothing of the sorts - That should have been a prerequisite in my background check of them. Again, my bad. 

There are many examples and experiences I could itemise but I really couldnt be bothered. I am exhausted from the whole experience and I guess it has taught me so much. I should not have dropped my standards for any reason - it only put my life, the life of others and my happiness on the line. It has confirmed to me that I am a professional, and I won't drop those standards for myself, or for those I represent or teach. I guess it has taught me to be incedibly wary of my future choices, in jobs, in people, in friends. 

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

Thankfully the day before I left I got in touch with a very kind and professional soul who offered to pick me up and put me in the right direction - a job, a home, a way off the island, a future job in another country, so much. A background of the people I was working for and so much more. I was overwhelmed at the extended hand, someone who owes me nothing, who doesnt know me, to be willing to provide so much - thats me - thats where I align and thats the type of people I should be working with. By this stage I had already declared crisis mode and had a rough sketch of my next two weeks - calling in help from loved ones to put me up until I found my feet again - I didnt want to go back on this and I toldl her, once I find my feet I will consider taking a short term role before leaving home - just to put a nice taste in my mouth as this bad experience nearly ruined it all for me.

In a positive light, I had the pleasure of having some serious laughs, snorts and cackles with the three prawns next door. I would have been lost without them, they were always there in my emergencies (vegemite toast cravings) and when I walked out on the job. A barrell of laughs. The girls writing me a mock resume would have to be the most funniest moments in my trip. 

I went out on only a handful of occassions, and when I did it usually involved shots, cocktails and dancing on the bar  - all good times. A 2 euro Gyros on the way home was always a winner.

On my last night in Ios (which I did not know at the time) it started off pretty rough but I kept saying in the back of my head, it is for a reason. Turned out to be the most random night out - and I wish so much I hadn't been the good girl and went to bed, but stayed out wth the prawns until 8am - what a good time that would have been! It was still a great night.

There are some good memories, and thankfully they are not outweighed by the bad. Pork ribs at funpub will always be a fond memory - the best ribs I had ever eaten. Mmm....ribs....

Yesterday I caught a 6 hour ferry from Ios to Athens and was greeted by Alex's boyfriend Dim who collected me and brought me back to their apartment. I am so lucky to have good people in my life. I am so thankful. Here I will just chill out in the apartment, look for flights and ideas for travel... repack my suitcases and travel with just the one and pick up the rest before flying home.

This weekend (which is my birthday weekend) I will be spending it in Kalamatta with people I dont know. Only Alex's boyfriend, who no doubt will be the gentleman that he is and will make sure I have a very happy day, which I am very thankful for. It will be bizarre however, no friends and no family. I guess there is a first for everything.

On monday evening I wil fly to Italy where I have a long awaited reuinion with some very close friends who I nannied for 2 years ago. I can't wait to hold everyone one of them - extended family and all. There has been no place quite like Italy for rebuilding my soul.

A couple of weeks of soul building, and then who knows what may happen next, I just hope everything will fall nicely into place...

Finding joy in the struggle....

Kass xx

Stranded in Europe

So the past week has been an interesting one to say the least. With limited to no wifi connection I'll write up a proper post when I return to the mainland. I quit my job and have been left high and dry - unpaid with no accommodation. I leave iOS on Thursday and return to Athens to figure out where to from here.

Where I was working was unprofessional, unsafe, broke standards and was working for horrible owners. What a poor decision in coming here - now I wait for the clincher as to what greater reason bought me here.....

Trying to hold it together. Kass xx

Monday already!

It's 6.30pm in Greece and I realised that it is Monday.... Mermaid monday has lagged behind in two days of back-to-back overlapping dive appointments. Looking to be a very late one this evevning.

I still have a love / hate undecided feeling about greece though I think it is on the improve - well really, there wasnt much room for anything else...

I have a mountain of equipment cleaning and shop closing ahead of me so it looks like its going to be another late one.

In a nutshell, this isn't the 'lifestyle' I was hoping it would be, here in Greece anyway.

Kass xx

Summer in Greece

I have had an incredibly overwhelming week, from booking my flights to Greece, arriving here and everything that has happened in between. On the day of my flight, I had still not heard the results of my biopsy, so I had to follow this up myself. At midday the results had come through, yet due to the time constraints I could not see the specialist at the hospital and therefore had them sent to my GP.

The results that came back were CIN3, which, well, are not good. In short, I have to have part of my womb removed. I was old to cancel my trip and to have the surgery the following week. I could not quite get my head around this concept as my plane was leaving in only a few hours. After seeking some specialist advice, and consulting my 3 closest loves, I virtually had the decision made for me as I was an emotional wreck and could hardly think or talk. I would come to Greece for a couple of months and have the operation as soon as I returned. If I was to stressed about it, I could come back and have the operation sooner.

What I was also considering with this turn of events, was the offer of a wonderful job in the Cook Islands. It was a great mentor type role with so much abundance to learn and develop my skills. The time frame would have worked well from operation - recovery - new job. I had so much going through my mind, I couldn't think reasonably, though, this I think - would have been the better decision...

In a couple of hours I was dropped at the airport and on my way. I was completely emotionally exhausted and confused. I had three flights over 28 hours. I was so happy to land in Athens where I had Alexandra and her little puppy Ralphy waiting for me. Alex was wearing ski goggles which were the closest thing to a dive mask, and was holding a sign which made me laugh. We arrived at her apartment where I could finally refresh before we went out to dinner. We enjoyed a Greek salad to which I replied "do you want some salad with that feta" It was the size of my head! I enjoyed a Gyros which was a bit fat piece of bread filled with pork or chicken, salad - the best tzatziki ever, and french fries.

By the time we got home it was midnight, which I will have to get used to again, the late living hours of Europe. Dinner around 9-10pm and home around midnight. The following day I caught an early morning, 4.5 hour ferry to Ios. Thankfully I had kind people to help me carry my two suitcases up and down the stairs. I arrived with a driver waiting for me at the port and drove me to the dive centre on Mylopotas beach. There, Andrea met me and his smile couldn't be bigger. He had been running the place for the past few weeks alone and was in dire need of my help. After a few hours of hanging around, I finally made it to my apartment where I could shower and was intending to have a sleep.

The apartment had one of the most incredible views, completely looking over Mylopotas beach. It was stunning. The room on the other hand, had left a lot to be desired! A basic bathroom, with a hand held hose for a shower where the water floods the floors. They don't even provide toilet paper! Three single beds with mattresses from the 1960's. Not even double folding a blanket under my bed sheet subsides the pain from the springs penetrating my back. Much the same for the pillow. There is no cupboard room so my clothing stays in my suitcase on the floor. Somewhat worst of all, no wifi signal. The first night I got ambushed by mosquitos in my sleep and woke up with massive lumps which felt like bruises. I couldn't take my rings off my fingers had swelled up so much, i’d never had a reaction to mosquitos before but apparently that’s pretty normal here. The mosquitos are fierce.

The past three days has seen me in tears morning and night, regretting ny decision to be here and trying to swallow the bitter pillow of "what if". What if i chose to stay home, have treatment and take the Cook Islands job. I have been completely miserable and been on the verge of booking a flight straight out of here. The job is completely autonomous, which usually I would like. However to be a new instructor, and the most experienced diver in the company, with no one superior or more experienced to refer to, is completely daunting. I wouldn't use the words professional or organized in my description of the place - but as I have been reassured - we can turn that around, and we will.

I had two days of terrible diving in bad conditions which only added to my distressed state. Our dives are done form the shore which I find difficult, in charging the breaking waves on the beach to get out and dive from there. On the boat, we have to carry all of our equipment and walk to the beach where we stand in neck deep water and load our stuff up on the boat. The boat is small and it is awkward in getting the equipment on everyone before going into the water. Everything is new, and I am completely unfamiliar. I have no doubt that in time that, I will look back on my first week here and roll my eyes at myself - but until then, i just have to take it day by day, rest and try to relax.

I had a 10 hour sleep last night which took some of the edge off today, and I think if I keep heading home form work and going straight to sleep for a few days, that should fix me up some more. Lots of rest and relaxation.

For now I need to try to chill out and just relax. Lucky I have two very special people who I am on the phone to all day every day shooting me advice and helping me to calm my mind. As I am usually told, I am far to hard on myself. Im sure its not that bad and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. I know its just like Thailand all over again, when I first arrived I completely freaked out, doubted myself and my decisions. This time next week I hope to be writing about how my life is all sunshine and rainbows!

Trying to keep that chin up and the dream alive.

Kass xx 

you never ever know if you never ever go

Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement. I leave for Greece tomorrow.

Since booking my flights only a week ago, I have experience much anticipation on the arrival of my new action camera, and the arrival of Alex’s hair extensions. Thankfully all arrived ahead of time, giving me time to focus on other things.

I am a very drawn out suitcase packer. I like to scour every cupboard and drawer, every shelf and container, containing the copious amounts of personal property I own. I then pool the stuff I want to take and then start the culling process from there. It’s only then that i feel satisfied about my decisions of what 30kg of personal property shall accompany me on my next journey.

It was to my absolute delight that my airline allows an extra bag /10kg for sporting equipment, allowing me to designate one entire suitcase to my gear, and one whole entire suitcase to myself! After the last trip, this is an incredible luxury. With plenty of time up my sleeve, it was quite therapeutic to be ironing and rolling my clothes and using the tetris method to pack my suitcase - its incredible how my suitcase packing skills have developed to ensure i’m getting the most out of my space!

With many last minute errands, I was still holding my own up until today. The reality of saying “see you soon” to so many wonderful people pulled a few heart strings and with only a day to go I had a few tears when I threw myself into the arms of a girlfriend who came to see me this afternoon. I have no doubt that I will have a great time, as each adventure has proven to be, but there always seems to be some overwhelming emotional distress right before I leave, or right upon arrival which does subside with time.

As I near the last comforts (and winter chills!) of home, I appreciate the wonderful people who have visited me and shown me a great time since I have been home. Many laughs and many wonderful conversations.

As it goes, ‘When it rains it pours’. Today I was offered the job in the Cook Islands to which I had a good eye on. Unfortunately the start date was smack bam in the middle of me being in the Greek Islands and I had to decline. 

Only two weeks ago I was freaking out about not being able to land myself a job, and next minute i’m flying to the Greek islands for the summer and turning down a job in the Cook Islands. Oh how things have changed!

This time next week I will be sharing my stories about my first week in the Greek Islands! Bring on summer!

Love and sunshine, Kassie