it starts with a dream....

After what has felt like months of a fantasy life, the day has arrived. In a matter of hours, I will be embarking up not only upon a flight, but a journey into the unknown.

In early September it began. I had a very private, yet life altering event occur, which made me questions everything I was doing, and realise how quickly everything could be taken away. I promised myself that if I could get through it, I would travel. At this time, I was in a job which I had worked towards for some 9 years. I had worked in the insurance industry, across a range of specialist roles, and it brought me to what I felt was the top of the crop. In that role, it had been sold to me by the agency as a sure thing and that I would have a permanent position within 2-3 months, by Septemeber, it had been at least 6...

Over the space of a couple of weeks, I was considering upgrading my car, moving into a new place, planning a holiday and preparing for a future.. that I had been sold to me as being absolute. I was in talks with my manager, though all decisions were being made by 'the board' and no indications could be made as to when my position would be secure. My contract was being renewed every couple of weeks and I couldnt even have the income security of buying a 6 months vehicle registration certificate, let alone a gym membership. My manager so kindly said "If the business isn't going to look after you, you need to look after you; you must put yourself first, and do what's right for you".

Walking back from my lunch break, it dawned on me. This isn't what I wanted for myself! What happened? How did I get sucked back into 'the system' without even realizing? 18 months earlier I had returned from a life changing trip to Italy (two, actually). My intentions when I returned - was to finalise all commitments I had at the time, pay off my debts, get back on my feet, save enough money to travel the world and do so freely, with no ties.

The penny dropped. I laughed at myself for how I was so blinded by the every day monotomy of life, that I forgot my true intentions, my hopes and my dreams, all to satisfy the status quo.

That evening, I came home and I thought. I really thought. When I had the opportunity in Italy to disconnect from all comforts of home, and deeply delve into my soul, what were the things i wanted to do with my life? What did I really enjoy doing? Scuba diving! Amongst the dozens of achievements I hope to acomplish in my life, being a scuba instructor was one of them. Though I have only dived about a dozen of times, I had some very surreal moments which I will cherish forever. In realizing this, I recalled a conversation I had with an old friend many months earlier who spoke of a friend of hers doing an internship in Mexico - more hands on experience and much more cost effective.

I turned on my laptop to refer to my good friend GOOGLE and grabbed an old journal to start taking notes in comparing dive companies. As I flicked to the back of the journal, there was one light - it read "Scuba Diving - Koh Tao Thailand". Talk about a sign! It was a diary I wrote when I had my early life crisis at 25, quit my destructive job and realtionship and ran away for a couple of weeks in Bali. No doubt by this point, I was feeling like I was on the right track.

I looked at companies all around the world which offered internships, I refered to the PADI website on the ranking of centres and began to make enquiries. I made about half a dozen enquiries to which I had all quick responses back which all threw themselves at me to choose them. Enormous emails packed with information, but none really grabbed me. In my research, I noted one website which suggested that internships in Phuket were more highly regarded then in Koh Tao for a number of reasons. As I began to narrow my enquiries with companies in Phuket, very highly recognised by PADI, I found Dive Asia.

I began to read their website, read about the course directors and there I found the information on Andy Auer. It took me to a link to his website Project Dive which was clear, concise and even offered internship opportunities at the Four Seasons Resorts in The Maldives! This was singing at me.

I wrote myself a very specific, open and honest enquiry, expressing my interest in becoming a scuba instructor. In no time at all I had a response from Andy. It was not a long winded reply, hard selling his business, telling me how recognised he was or what his favorite fish was.... He politely thanked me for my enquiry and advised he would love to talk to me over the phone or skype to find out exactly what I would like in order to customize a program to me. I was blown away. How prompt his response was and how personal it was.

After a couple of days, I spoke with Andy, we discussed what I would like to do, and I expressed my willingness to change my life in order to follow my dream. Andy was willing to give me a shot, he said he would tailor a program for me, and also offered a place in his internship in the Maldives in March 2014. I had to really hold back from jumping out of my skin with excitment!

As life does, it then threw me a curve ball, the NEXT day at work, there was an indication that permenant positions would be available in a matter of weeks. When it rains, it pours! I asked for signs, I connected with the universe and asked for signs to show me - should I take the position at work, or should I follow my dream in being 'a scuba diving mermaid'. Overthe space of a couple of days, there was a window cleaning company parked outside of work called 'Mermaids window cleaning'. I acknowledged and thanked for the sign. That weekend in Burleigh, there was a mermaid barbie display in a shop window, at the markets, a giant sign that said Mermaid, watching Big Brother that night, two of the guys dressed in mermaid costumes... and the list goes on. I don't think the universe could have provided me with any more signs, other then a mermaid flipping out of the water and slapping me with her tail!

In only a couple of weeks, I had signed sealed and delivered my contract to complete my dive master qualification in Phuket, and follow on to the Maldives for a 12 week internship at the Four Seasons Resorts. The following day... I had been awarded a quiartly recognition award by work for my outstanding achievements. Talk was permenant positions were on the horizon and I should hold out hope. Life was really display a clear fork in the road and it was letting me know all about it.

I spoke with my manager who was such a kind mentour. Though she said her heart was breaking that she would be loosing me, she believes in following your dreams and that I should take this opportunity with both hands.

I had a momentary scare in late December when Andy requested to speak with me over skype. Instantly I htought the worse and that the internship would be cancelled. Andy advised he had wonderful news in that he had a new job. He quickly advised me that the internship in the Maldives is most likely going to be th last one! I scraped in by the skin of my teeth! Oh what a relief. In the thought of 'what if this was taken away' I was even more thankful for the opportunity I had and would excel beyond belief!

I finished work on 20 December 2013. Following then, I had a holidays in Kingscliffe, Byron for the Falls festival, Burleigh, Sydney and played the social butterfly role that I do so well. My weeks since then have been jammed packed with meaningful relationships - new, and old. I had some quality time with people that I love, and that I will remember forever, with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.

It all felt like normal to me. I lived my life everyday with a full heart and only concerntrated on the moments I was experiencing as they happened. I didnt think about what laid ahead, I only lived in the now. I loved every moment fully.

On the 1st of February, I had my mermaid and pirates farewell party! I had the most wonderful day I could have ever hoped for. Wonderful friends and family - very close nit only. We partied until 3am and were up at 7am the next day to have a recovery of swims, beers and food by the pool. Two days with the people that mean the most, it was heaven.

Monday morning came around next. I recieved a call from my doctor personally requesting that I come in that morning. I knew that my pap smear results were late and they must have arrived. She booked me  in and a couple of moments later, her receptionist called. In confirming my appointment she said "are you coping okay". after confirming the appointment, I got off the phoen in shock at the comment she had made. "coping okay?" that was a far cry from "how are you". I started to get quite worried and had to wait a couple of hours before I would find out. Soon enough I had my appointment and my life was turned upside down.

In short, she told my that I had high grade pre cancerous cells. I was to cancel my trip and she wrote a referral to the hospital for urgent investigation and treatment. She told me that the next steps were a biopsy and an operation to burn of my uterus. She said June would be too late for me to have the biopsy and treatment (which I asked was possible after my trip) because it was so aggressive. I got home and burt into tears. the few loved ones I told - we were all beside ourselves in fear. I began to take steps to cancel my trip, and plan there where-to from here. The next few hours were an absolute whirl wind of emotion and distress......

A few hours later I recieved a call form the hospital from where they had recieved the urgent referral. She had a copy of my results in front of her and she told me to calm down. She advised that it was not definitive - is was POSSIBLE. She advised that they were abnormal, not pre-cancerous. She told me that the next step, is to have another pap smear done in 6 months time, and if the results are the same, thenthe next step is a biopsy to further investigate. She then asked to call me back so she could show my results to the specialist doctor, who had been in the field for 30 years and specialized in this particular area. she called me back right away and re-confirmed what she had told me plus a little more.

We all cried in releif. What the hell had just happened. In a space of about 4 hours our lives had been turned upside down, inside out and back again. I can't even begin to descriethe thoughts we had, the steps we had already to begin to take plus more. My father is ready to prepare a formal complaint to the medical board agains the doctor (GP) for providing so much incorrect advice on a subject to which she obviously held no speciality and caused so much anguish.

On reflection of the day, it was outstanding, the effect of an idea could have. How much destruction it could cause. Thoughts are so powerful. Best to use them for pure and positive thoughts only. I know when I change my thoughts, it changes my life. Sometimes I forget and I see lots of things 'going wrong', I make a concious decision to change them, to give thanks for what I have and what I am going to recieve; then I only see an abundance of things 'going right'.

In a positive light, I feel as though I have a new lease on life, and again, I am so thankful for the opportunity presented to me and I am going to make the most of it, and truely live it to the fullest.

Make the most of your health, your sound body, and mind. Respect it, listen to it, nurture it. You never know, in an instant it could be taken away.

This journey I am about to embark on, whilst in holiday locations, it is no holiday. I will be studying and working hard in a field I know little no nothing of. I intend to be kind to my body, hope that my brain regenerates enough brain cells to retain the knowledge I need, in order to do my job safely and effectively.

I, and many others hope that this works out as intended - to live what I believe to be the best job in the world. Travel to exotic locations, conserve underwater life, explore, be amazed and be happy. There is an abundance of opportunities out there for me, and i'm going to find out what they are.

Above all else, it must be noted that during the past 7 months, I met one of the most wonderful, caring and patient people I have ever met. I had the most fulflling, happy and enriching relationship in my life, and to that I am eternally thankful and I look forward to when we meet again.

Live life, give thanks, and release.

Love and Peace, Kassie