fight on...

It was a reasonable flight from Gold Coast to Phuket. After arriving, it was over a 1 hour wait in immigration to pass through, and by that stage my nanna bladder had enough, and I could have just ran through those officers to get to the toilet on the other side!

It was arranged that I would have a driver waiting for me, name on card, pearly white smile (well that's what i imagined) ready to drive me to the dive centre. After passing through customs (Thai man sitting on conveyer belt waving me throgh) there were half a dozen people with signs coming up to me, to indicate if it was me they were waiting for....it wasn't... after waiting for a few moments, I stepped outside - perhaps he was there... nope... I went to go back inside for another check, but an officer denied me re-entry to the airport. Not only did I want to check inside again, but soon as I crossed that door line, the free airport wifi switched off.

I waited, and I waited... until I decided to e-mail Andy ... then i remebered he sent me his number incase i needed to call. Lucky i didnt use my phone battery playing candy crush and I had enough aussie credit on the phone to make contact. I spoke with Andy and after a couple of calls it was concluded that the centre made a mistake. I needed to get a taxi to the centre on my own... I had no thai baht so I was coached on where to go for a metered taxi where I did not have to pay upfront, and then after calls from Andy between myself and taxi driver... I arrived at the detsination after a little over an hour.

After working in travel insurance for a few years, you only tend see the bad things and some of them came to memory... did the driver leave my laptop bag behind accidently on purpose? Calm your farm Kassie.

It was a releif when we arrived after a couple of wrong turns and premature street arrival, that I had his beaming smile, and open arms to greet me. Andy then put me in the care of another instructor as he had further commitments for the day. I was briefly shown around and then found my room where I could potter for a couple of hours before meeting a few of the guys for lunch.

When I hit my room, I went to unpack my suitcase... body wash had exploded and went all over one quarter of my bag - great... I cleaned it, and then continued to unpack... but my clothes smelt very frgrant, too fragrant... as I went on... my conditioner had exploded in another quarter of my bag. awesome. much worse than the first.  As I continued to unpack I realised how much crap I had shoved in there and how much practical stuff I left out which would mean unnecessary expenses for me.

I was tired, I was hungry, I was in a country I didnt know. I was really distressed. I was completely second guessing myself and I was really down. After having a cold shower which I didnt know how to work, rearranging the furniture a couple of times and changing my clothes a dozen... i braved it to meet the guys for lunch. Up I went.... the table was set.... for everyone.... but me.... how embarassing. By the time I ordered myself something, they had finished eating before I had started. They spoke in their thick accents and I could hardly understand a word; competely disabling me from joining the conversation. I was invited to get in the water with a snorkel as they were doing some IDC prac in the pool after lunch.

By this point I was hardly consolable. I was weak, vulnerable and felt like a fool. A far cry from the dream expectation that I and many otehrs had. I got ready, and hopped in the pool with the guys... instantly, I felt some relief. Water soothes me like little other, and I have always had a connection with it. In observing the guys display their skills, I realised, they weren't perfect. In fact, watching them, made me feel more confident in what little skills I had. After the pool, I went back to my room and I concisouly tried to change my thoughts. It was painful and I was reluctant. I told myself, new people are good for a number of reasons, perhaps I will discover new music, perhaps ones with common interests and those who could teach me about phuket to make me more confortable. Later that afternoon I met with my CD (course director) and he was taking me to exchange some money, drive around Kata and get my a sim card. After a drive, we hit Central Festival - A large shopping centre in Phuket - things started to feel a little better. As we started ticking off some of the things we needed to do, we chatted a lot and I realised how much we had in common - upheaving our lives from another country to follow a dream, for one. We learnt a little about each others history and what I could expect from diving and Thailand and I was starting to feel much more comfortable.

We hit a grocery store and that pretty much fixed everything! Orgnic fruit & vege, cheese, cured meats... all the neccessities I need in my life! As I gesture of gratitude for the time he took away from his family to help me that evening, we had some dinner. Four cheese pizza! If anything was going to really turn my day around, it was four cheese pizza! On the way back to the centre/my apartment we discussed music, and found some more common ground, even introduced me to some new artists. It was such a releif that I no longer felt so alientated from everyone else. Maybe I was in shock and completely over reacted.

On contemplation back in my room, I was in a whirl-wind. The emotional roller coaster did not stop when I got on the plane, nor do I think it has stopped yet. But the difference 12 hours could make... incredible. In a matter of hours, I felt a little more comfortable with my career change, confidence in myself, a little more knowledge of Phuket, and a introduction to some new artists! After staying up for another hour or so chatting with a couple of loved ones who were so concerned of my state of mind a few hours earlier, I felt much better, a far cry from how I felt that morning.

Today, I had my first classroom experience, I had a refresher on some dive theory, a small written test and then after lunch - the pool. I did my first confined dive in 2.5 years and I was so proud of myself for the skills i was able to display underwater. We were in the water for about 3 hours or so? and once I got out, packed up my dive gear for the boat tomorrow!

Since then, I have found myself in my room, chatting with loved ones from home and just taking a break. I have some study and homework to complete by 8.30am tomorrow morning which I would like to get out of the way, shower and then perhaps meet a couple of the guys for dinner (and a beer - oh please a beer - i havent had one yet!) and a relaxing evening.

Tomorrow morning I will do my first open water dive and we have two planned. I have no doubt, that once I hit that open water, see the underwater life, and experience some of the best dive spots in the world... that everything will all just melt away....

This next week is packed with theory & prac for emergency first response & rescue diving. The following week is all diving - in fact, I have to get about 22+ dives in that week alone. Full on!

Then I begin my Dive Master course - this is the most intense and important of all others so its going to require 100% in order to adequately prepare me for the IDC in the Maldives!

Change is scary, especially big ones. It doesnt mean give up and go back to your comfort zone. Stick it out and it gets easier. Not only does it get easier, but it may just turn out to be the best thing you ever did!

Fight on xx

Kass