The San Pedro vortex

I haven't written a blog intoxicated yet, well, not entirely but I guess that's the only state you will find me in, in San Pedro. After departing Flores, we caught a long and tiring shuttle to semuc champey (aka semuc champagne - where Guatemalan towns are renamed by us bogans into food items). We felt like the journey would never end on the rough roads, near miss hitting street dogs and varying altitudes... But we made it. Late in the evening we checked ourselves into Greengos hostel which would be an absolute gem of a hostel in the middle of the jungle. On our first day we tracked roughly twenty minutes through rough terrains to the other side of the river where we found the caves. We weren't sure what we were in for, but boy did we get it! In only our bikinis, a candle and a go pro we went on an hour expedition through the most incredible caves. Swimming, climbing up waterfalls, jumping into unknown darkness, we had the most spectacular experience. At the end we did a ridiculous rope swing into the river, some six more metres into the air and thrown into a strong current, it was so exhilarating, I went five times. We then grabbed some tubes and rode our way through the river before grabbing some street food and cold beers at the entrance of semuc champey pools. An absolute heaven on earth, we frolicked like mermaids through the freshwater pools for hours, before our treck back home.

It was the girls last night and we found ourselves devided between watching a dvd (the gals) and drinking at the bar (me). I partied with a bunch of new friends until the early hours of the morning, where two of us witness a legit ufo. I mean, it could be identified,  but for what we witnessed, it was woah. The next day I explored more of the pools at semuc, climbing up and down the different levels, like an adult child, in awe of such beauty. Turns out that worked out to be my expedition the following day, and where i ran into a mate from Mexico, and caught up on the month or more that had passed us. I made it up to the mirador (viewpoint) despite the recent thefts and advice not to go there. It was a fierce uphill trek, but I was very proud to make it up there, and still come out with all my belongings.

It was a wonderful four days in semuc, stranded in the jungle with no wifi, surrounded in natural beauty, embracing local experiences like chocolate making in a local family home, and just damn right kicking it. The day to leave was an early one, set for some 7/8 hours to Antigua. We stopped for fuel in Coban where the only food was McDonald's. I grabbed myself a mcmuffin, and little did I know, that would be my cryptonyte. Soon after eating I wasn't feeling so good. For the next few hours into the trip I tried to sleep, and only waking with a sudden desire to burp or possible spew. It wasn't until we were finally in Antigua I couldn't take it any longer, I ran off that bus into a nearby restaurant, where the force of the hurl caused me to rip/tear/rupture my stomach, double folding me into a ball of pain. Back onto the bus and dropped into a hostel, I was keeled over for the rest of the night, with disastrous moments of making it, and not quite making it to the bathroom. The following day I managed to barely keep down some bakery food for sustanance. In the evening some girls from the hostel bought some fresh flowers for the markets for a flower power going away party for Kirsten, a volunteer at the hostel. I felt like absolute dog shit, but I thought to myself, I could crawl into a ball and feel miserable, or I could attempt to have fun, and then do that afterwards anyway. So I showered, put on some mascara and put flowers in my hair, I was enjoying some chats  when suddenly we were called to the rooftop of the hostel. We climbed up the stairs to the roof where a dozen of us viewed the fuego volcano erupting and spilling lava upon itself. It was a spectacular sight and we cheered at every eruption. I was relieved that I would now not need to do a two day brutal height, to experience such a sight. We then headed to a nightclub where the highlight was a wasted dude jumping on a table to throw his hair back into the waterfall behind him, flick his hair forward into the crowd like a rockstar, all before falling into the tray, and getting himself kicked out, before half the people on the dance floor could comprehend what just happened. Soon following I found a soul sister who just wanted to get back to the hostel and share a packet of potato chips before going to bed. The next day I walked up to the viewpoint and got a great view of the old town amongst the volcanos. I attempted the Antigua markets before the exhaustion got the best of me and it was right back to the beanbags at the three monkeys before my 2pm shuttle to San Pedro.

I didn't get to experience much of Antigua due to illness but I knew I'd be back as the central shuttle hub in Guatemala. I was pumped to reach San Pedro where would get a much needed a cuddle from Dani. What was meant to be 2-3 hour shuttle to San Pedro, ended up being 6.5 hours. As we were about 45 minutes out of town, a truck had undertook a corner on a steep turn on the mountain and completely blocked up both lanes of traffic. We took photos and laughed before the time started to take toll. It got dark, rained, thunder and lightening. A couple hours in, an old lady living in town knew of a guy who could meet us on the other side of the truck. The shuttle company was doing nothing to help us.... I then scaled the front of a truck on the edge of a cliff, with all my luggage in the pitch dark and rain. When we all cheered, seated in the back of a minivan, so happy to be finally closer to San Pedro, we hit another speed bump. Morons had double parked on the road, taking us another 45 minutes to get through! Finally getting in San Pedro, the infamous mr mullets was booked out so I checked myself into the nearby fe hostel.

The following day I strolled around town, met some random Mexican dudes living here and they showed me that backstreets on San Pedro, the rocks, and then I couldn't wait to move on from their stinky BO. It was Friday and trivia was on at fe. It was a killer time, taking out best team name and a bonus round, free tequila, drinks and Italian pizza. The next morning I was up early, grabbed breakfast on the lake and caught a boat over to San Marcos. We jumped from an 8m platform into the lake and chilled on the sundeck for the afternoon. That night, at mullets the local band played, where we also had a bonfire, fire twirling and a pool comp. the following day I was headed for some "spiritual time" at San Marcos. Known for its retreats. I checked into a hostel, grabbed some lunch and made an enquiry for a retreat. Unfortunately I found them to come across as very condescending and judgemental. I grabbed my luggage and headed straight back to San Pedro! I was lucky enough to get a bed at mullets, and on the boat ride back, there was a double ran own across the lake. Meant to be.

The following morning we sat around the bar playing cards against humanity. Had a beer and went off with my two Israeli pals who I had ran into in three places, to get ingredients for traditional shukshuka, when we met an ex-pat in the street who insisted we head to a cheese and wine restaurant in a nearby town. We thought why not, and grabbed a tuk-tuk to San Juan. Waiting for us was a bunch of new people around a table in a spectacular cheese and wine restaurant. We ate 28 varieties of cheese and enjoyed the most magnificent wine. I almost had tears in my eyes for how happy I was! It was a heaven on earth, and it had been so long since I enjoyed my favourite indulgence. That evening, after a siesta, we checked out Zoola where we ate dessert - "hello to the queen". A dessert of chocolate brownie, caramelised banana, chocolate biscuit crumble and ice cream. We lazed around the casual dining area for hours, before headed to Buddha bar for open mic night.

The next day I wandered off for some alone time. Indulged in lunch at Zoola and then Designed a pair of shoes on my way home, ready for pick up the next day. The rest of the evening was cold and lazy with an early sleep as we would be hiking up Indian nose the next day. We were up at 3.40am to get a shuttle to the mountain. It was still pitch black and the stars were amazing as we began our 45 minute hike. It was mostly steep steps which my calves did not like. When we finally reached the top, the view of the lake was glorious. When we came back I thought I'd treat myself to a breakfast add-on, bacon. Devastated to find out they were sold out, I then found out that there was no wage in the hostel, no wifi and no electricity. I thought I'd best use my time to read in the hammock. But in the time I went and got my book from the room, the hammock had been Snaked. This was a milhouse kind of day! As a new friend was having a birthday, a bunch of great girls I met at the hostel and I, went out for dinner at the fancy Italian restaurant InTown. We had a wonderful meal, a bottle of red wine and plenty of laughs. At one point, the Irish girl made me laugh so hard when I was taking a mouthful of wine, I laughed it all over the table in front of me. We were all shattered and drunk and passed out at 9.30pm.

The next day I went for a stroll to the rocks, but didn't jump into the lake. I went to Zoola and shared an incredible platter with a volunteer at the hostel, we had so much food not even the two of us could finish it all. To full for dinner, I hit the drinks back at the hostel and got myself rather pissy. The next day was lazing in a hammock at the hostel where I finally finished a book I had been reading for weeks. It was then Thursday night, pool comp night at mullets, my hostel. The local band rocked it out and we danced and sang around the fire, where I made some great new local mates. The next day there was a bed bug scare in my room so as a preventative measure, I was shipped to a private, well, meant to be. I had all my washing done, but due to a mix up, was actually homeless for the night. Unable to nap for the first time, I was feeling restless. We went to trivia and then to the Buddha bar before being led to an after party in a friend of a friends tattoo shop. Strolling home at 6am in the morning, I felt like I was involved in what the infamous San Pedro was famous for - partying. The next afternoon I was moved into a private for the next two nights. Saturday night and it was the re-opening of a local bar, sublime.the party was off the chain, easily party of the year (well, so far!) the place was packed, with fire twirling, two incredible live bands, bonfires, decks, bars, tables and dancing. I danced my ass off all night and had the time of my life. For the after party, half a dozen of us snuck into the back of mullets and tried to keep quiet, through endless laughter and good times. One mate made up his own language and shit hit next level before neighbours through rocks in the yard because of the noise, and we all scattered off to our rooms. Sunday afternoon was smoking joes bbq. What a perfect place to indulge after a massive night. We ate a tonne of delicious food, plenty of beer and then back to sublime again for open mic. We ate, drank and danced the night away. San Pedro was sucking me in to its vortex.

Monday morning I was taken to an Italian bakery for breakfast which was a lovely delight. It was another chill day at the hostel before we got the fire started in the evening, with all of us sitting around with different instruments, playing tunes, and loving life. This is exactly what I had imagined this trip being about. We headed to Buddha bar until 1pm close and we scattered off to another random after pArty. This one was at a house, a fair walk down through San Pedro. There was half a dozen of us and when a small confrontation happened between friends, some random local lady pulled out pepper spray and sprayed it, causing all of us to chocke and dry reach with burning eyes. What a random night this was becoming, reluctantly staying until 6am with my friend, we finally called it quits and did the walk of shame through the town where normal functional people were just starting their day! We stopped periodically and just gazed at the glory of the lake and surrounding volcanoes and mountains. Home at 6.30am and up at 2.30pm, this was looking to become a regular patter. I had breakfast at 6pm at the gorgeous shanti shanti restaurant on the lake befor mullets happy hour lured me in. Tequila shots were so common now, that I just take them in my stride. I met some mates for their last night in town at fe where we played rage cage and constantly had to have our drinks full to the brim. The band played and we went absolutely mental on the dancefoloor. It ended up being possibly one of the most crazy fun nights in town. We went to sublime which I don't hardly remember. We walked the streets, bought alcohol under the table and hid from police. This was living! We managed to loose the crowd and finally head back to the hostel, again in the early hours of the morning. We watched alt j videos on YouTube and just laxed out until the afternoon.

As usual, the band would come banging on the door to wake up at some ridiculous time after little to no sleep. I got my ass up and headed out for brunch with some girls before having a nap and the evening related again -sublime and shots. Dancing like our life depended on it, the crowd dispersed at 1am when the police come to shut it all down. We went to an after party at some friends place, where six of them have rented a house. We sat in the front room with only two mattresses and two candles, a guitar and some spectacular voices. We sang until 6/7am when we finally left back to the hostel. The next day a friend from Mexico was arriving, and when she got here it was to sublime for "drunken munchies" platter at sublime, shots and beer - a typical San Pedro welcoming! The end of the night found me and two girlfriends on the roof of the hostel chatting away until 3am where we farewelled the band to a trip to El Salvador, and it was to bed for us. I was going to attempt to make breakfast each day and not to party while the guys were away.... I made at least two (kind of!) I ate breakfast and headed back to bed for another nap, a bit of routine for most stayers at mullets. Mel and I enjoyed a bottle of red wine and cheese & crackers for dinner before retiring with a mug of tea at 8pm. Oh how my life had changed in less than 24 hours! Mel and I strolled to the markets and I got a haircut, we then cooked a stir fry for dinner, enjoyed more red wine and had again, an early night in bed. I was liking this change of pace and after nine days of bendering until the early hours of the morning, it was good to have a little rest. 7am wake up for the chichi markets which was two hours travel away. We bargained our way through until 2pm and was back home at about 4.30. I was so excited to be "returning home" in the shuttle I could hardly contain myself. This place has got me good.

Surprisingly, a couple of great mates that I had made, returned for Antigua early was were going to stay another week in San Pedro. Just what I need, another excuse to stay! We had some drinks and came back around 10... I had to easy back into the party mode after a couple of days low-key! We played cards against humanity after breakfast, where the hostel owner cut us down some bananas, which the tree had been growing for six years and the bananas for three months! I pottered around the room and tried to settle into my third room at the hostel. I lashed out and bought some blue cheese for lunch and drank beer with the girls which were back in town. Tequila was flowing and next minute we were having a room party. We made it over to Buddha bar where we went upstairs and played spics and specs, singing tunes to the dinner menu and playing charades. On the way home we stopped for a midnight snack at a tex met restaurant where we proceeded to order three rounds of foods. The next morning we shot gun beers in the garden which would seem to set out the rest of the day. We joined a private boat, where 24 of hours went boozing and cruising on the lake. We stopped an San Marcos and an island, where it was both a weird and wonderful experience. The moon was full and powerful. The band was back In Town and playing at fe, so we skipped down and danced crazily to all their awesome tunes. It was so good to have the boys back in town. We carried on atsublime before retiring at 2am, we were getting better!

The next day me and the Aussie girls decided to celebrate Christmas in November, the 25,  where we could all be together and celebrate. We were a bit worse for wear, but still sure on celebrating the day. We went off and did secret Santa shopping in the afternoon and exchanged gifts befor dinner. We had a cracker of a nightly sublime and again, back to the friends house for an after party. 13 of us all sat in one room with a guitar and reminitions of Colt 45. I called it quits at 4am, as little to no interest in sticking it out to the regular 6/7am time slot. Woken at 8am, I decided to have an early breakfast and see if I could get an afternoon siesta in. The hot showers were down for a few hours so I used that as an excuse to not move from my room and just chill out. A couple hours sleep was welcoming and I woke up super chilled. Hot showers were back on, so I was back on! Despite all of our pleas to do nothing tonight, a few beers in, a room party and we were back on track to a night at sublime. These moments are a shit tonne of fun, living in the same block of all your mates, meeting up for meals throughout the day, beers, partying and dancing, this is the time of my life. I've become a San Pedro local, and never committing to more than one task a day. Usually that task is just as simple as having a shower. Why? "Because I'm on vacation!" 

We drank at mullets until the bar closed and heade to sublime where we decided to set off fireworks on the back dock. We sat around the fire before I was calling it a Night at midnight to get this long and overdue update to yours truly before 2am! It's been an incredible three weeks in San Pedro, and though I could easily stay here forever, as many do, I think I'm feeling pretty weathered and it's time to move on to the next. With beach and Sunshine in sight, it looks like el paredon on the pacific coast of Guatemala may be next in onlya couple of days! I get stressed and saddened at the thought of leaving this magical place, but the key is not to become attached to the good times, and not be adverse to the bad ones. I've achieved a lot personally in this place. I got a lot of healing done, as well as a lot of partying. As I am saddened that it may all shortly come to an end, and I see things around me wrapping up, but rest assured, that the best is still yet to come!

Let go. Do not fall, climb

Happily leaving Bacalar knowing I would no longer be a homeless drowned rat, we got into a nice new shuttle (minivan) and headed to Chetumal where we grabbed some food and continued on to the Belize boarder. My first boarder crossing in thought was slightly intimidating but the reality it was a breeze. I handed over $25 USD to exit Mexico and had the scary looking officer cracking funnies with me and then it was into the Belize immigration office. I had my passport stamped and crossed straight trough to new soil. A little further along the way and we arrived at the Belize Jetty for a 1pm water taxi to Caye Caulker. Upon arrival to the island paradise, some companions I made on the trip checked into our hostels and caught up for lunch at Bamboozled; A restaurant by the water, where all the seats in and around the restaurant are swing chairs. I felt nothing but good vibes in Caye Caulker and was very comfortable with my surroundings. The following four days are an absolute blur as we were confined to the hostel whilst we experienced torrential rain, to which I have since been told was the beginning of a large hurricane which then crossed Guatemala and hit the coast of Mexico. In the peak of the storm, a great bunch of pals from the hostel and I sat on the balcony until 4am in the morning watching a Spectacular lightening and thunder show. Two enormous cracks of lightening close by caused the hostel to shake, and wake anyone who was not already up due to the sound of the rain on the tin roof. Me and the pals leaped out of seats, screamed and huddled together in group before realising what we'd just done and burst into laughter. It was absolutely amazing. 

The following day, stories of flooding in Mexico and Belize were coming through, with ferries and buses being cancelled sporadically over the next couple of days. There was something I found quite poetic about being stranded on a Caribbean island, and I was in no hurry to leave. It was a very chilled, easy going place to watch the days roll into one.

Despite the weather, I was still loving the island vibe. Lobster was abundant, and I was making the most of eating it every chance I got. You couldn't go past Belizean Flavour where a man out the front would yell "You'll love da flava and da flava loves Yaaa". Its true, they were the best and as I walked in each night i'd get to him first with "I'm back again because I love da flavaaaa" A meal of lobster, two sides, three rum punches, and cake would be only $25 Belize which is $12.50 usd. Other local delicacies were meat pies and banana bread, jerk chicken and fry jacks. I treated myself like a holiday maker rather than a backpacker whilst there. My budget completely blew out for 11 days, but I ate incredibly well which is of utmost importance to me and my happiness! 

On the first day where the rains started to let up, but with still questionable weather, the pals and I went out on a limb and jumped on the hostel snorkelling tour. Visibility was not going to be great and conditions were not perfect but we needed to get ourselves out there. Despite the poor viz of only 1-5 metres at best, we had an awesome day and saw all the sea life we had wished for. As we began to give up hope, and swim back to the boat after our first stop, Emma spotted a manatee (a sea cow) to which we were all beside ourselves. Such a glorious large, peaceful creature. He came past me so close and looked into my soul. I managed to get some incredible footage of the experience, while all the while looking at him with my own eye, and not through the camera lens. We also swam with turtles, sharks, eagle rays, stingrays and more. I witnessed a moray eel swimming about the ocean for the first time (and far too close for comfort). All others times I've only seen them stay within their coral homes (where I'd prefer they would stay). We attempted spear fishing and lobster catching on our way back, but the spot we stopped at was completely bare. In the least, I got to feel super bad ass swimming through the ocean with a spear gun. We played drinking games and indulged in plenty of rum punch on the way back to hostel where we were all stoked with our days adventure. Amy cooked up the only fish that was caught, and it fed 8 of us as an entree. The next day we hung out at the split. A few years back, Caye Caulker was split in two as a result of a hurricane. The split is approximately 70m across which makes swimming across a breeze.  There is a bar which overlooks the split which plays good music and provides ice cold Belekin beers.

One morning completely out of left wing I received some pretty shocking news. Without baring all, it left me completely lost and confused and in a bid to try and understand what just happened I fell into a pit of grief. Unable to leave my bed for an entire day, I spent time trying to come to grips with the news I was given and accepting that it was something that I could not change and would need to accept; however, also having the wisdom to know that I needed time, and that its okay to not be okay, so long as you don't get stuck there. All the time following I was having to look deeply within myself. Could I have known, should I have seen it coming? How could I be so completely deceived and betrayed? The next couple of days were spent consulting with my closest friends and of course my mumma, trying to chat things out and verbalise what I was going through. I had to completely retreat within myself, accept the hurdles will seem to never stop coming, no matter how many I'd already been through, and how big they may have been. Life experiences are constantly testing my resilience, and it appears no matter how much I overcome, apparently there is still more. Relying on research, articles, books and more, It slowly unfolded perhaps what I could do better to protect myself from harm. This life is one hell of constant learning field. Whilst juggling the eight stages of grief which was a turbulent emotional roller coaster, i was trying to remain strong and learn, grow and become stronger, yet again. One of most inspirational quotes I have read, and held onto came up in a wonderful piece I was reading which really hit home....

"So let your heart break. Let it shatter into a million pieces that you can piece back together again into an instrument worthy of love and human flourishing. Don’t fear pain, use pain as a wakeup call. Use it as a tool to leverage your higher self. Everything changes; it’s the most apparent absolute. Your heart is your finest instrument. It too must change."

One week on and I am still working through it all. With each day it does get easier. Everything always does. Respect yourself and give yourself time to heal. To learn. To come back up on top where you belong.

As I slowly pulled myself back into the external world I couldn't have been more pleased to have a familiar friend by my side. Dani, my little Aussie angel, who I met in Cancun, is an absolute gem and gave me all the cuddles I needed. A few giggles and indulgent plates of lobster and I was slowly putting myself back into the world again.

After deciding to give diving the blue hole a miss, I signed up for a dive to nearby 'Esmeralda'. The first dive site was named tackle box (after a nearby restaurant on San Pedro). On the way out we saw a pod of dolphins and an eagle ray fly out of the water. Great omens for a day of diving. When we pulled up there were three Dolphins mating at the surface. As we descended, the three Dolphins came with us around 15m deep where they frolicked and showed off right in front of us. My first ever experience diving with dolphins and it was so beautiful. Then as I looked down I had endless nurse sharks swimming below and beside me. It was truly magical. Both dives we did that day were incredible with such lovely sea life. I will always love that dive for Dolphins to be looking at me in my eyes, so close that I could have reached out and touched them, playing and flipping around for minutes, it was glorious. Exactly what I needed.

On our last full day in Caye Caulker,  Dani, talz, dani2, Benji, Shaun, clemace and I spent it enjoying a very expensive breakfast where I had a giant martini glass of fruit salad that was bigger than my head, and then lazing in hammocks in the ocean enjoying a few cold beers. Everything was perfect and I was considering staying for a few extra days. I could easily have been stuck there for longer but looking at my budget, it was wise that I carried on to the next destination. In the evening we all caught up again and had a family dinner of fish which the crew had caught a day earlier on their deep sea fishing adventure. I spent a couple hours before bed, swinging in the hammock, easing my mind, releasing my problems and being thankful for what I have. A shooting star delighted me and I chuffed off to bed. On my last day, I spent the morning pottering around, treated myself to a suitcase load of washing which was worth every cent. I've been a tightass til now, and hand washes all my clothes with concerntrate. But I lashed out to have machine washed, flowery smelling clothes, all snapped back to original size from the dryer, and felt a million dollars. It's the little things which are the big things when traveling. Hot water, clean clothes, and a descent bed. I enjoyed a scrumptious meal of chicken, dirty rice and potato salad for lunch at a bargain price and had my last pine-coconut juice which tastes like a liquid splice ice cream from home. Delicious. I was terribly sad to be leaving such a lovely place but was so happy that I was able to be there at all.

I met the squad at the dock where we were doing a team adventure into Guatemala. A boat ride back to Belize where we jumped on a shuttle and headed for our next boarder crossing.  Leaving Belize was a breeze and we paid our $19 USD exit fee and thankfully got out passports stamped in Guatemala without being hussled for a fake entry fee; which we have heard a few other travellers have experienced. Seemingly familiar to Mexico, we arrived in Flores where we all checked into 'Los Amigos' for the night. With rains about, we were confined to having dinner at the hostel (which is always expensive) but at least was a good meal. When retiring to bed I thought if I remembered agreeing to be in a sauna room... With fans circulating hot air only, I woke at 3.30am in a pool of sweat. After a few minutes outside to dry off, I somehow miraculously got back to sleep. The next morning I high tailed out of the dorm, and checked into the loft where I have spent the past three nights. Like a tipi platform amongst the trees, with six mattresses only, I had natural air conditioning, a comfortable mattress and couldn't be happier with my new 'room' choice.

Days in Flores have been spent wandering around the tiny island, eating incredible local cheap eats by the lake, having a wonderful sauna where we covered ourselves in salt and honey and were left with silky smooth and clear skin, as a feeling of utter tranquility. Mostly I always enjoy making new friends, and catching up with old ones. Friends which were made in other countries and ran into in others. It's a crack hearing someone call your name in the street and reunite in a whole new setting. A few drinks in the evening of the sauna day knocked me for six the next... Clearly morbidly dehydrated I spent the whole day in bed and skipping out on a day tour. It worked out for the best as I got in some good me time, blog writing, photo uploading and all those bits and pieces. It was the day/night of the super full moon, so I got my hippy on and worked through some me stuff. Away from anyone and everyone, completely by myself was needed, and perhaps the reason for the exaggerated sickness. To seperate and roll solo for a day. At 6pm I was starving and headed to the food stalls where I ran into Clemace (a different one from Caye. In fact the fourth 'Clemace' I had met in two weeks!) who I had met in Bacalar. It was he and his friends dorm floor where I had slept the last night when my tent flooded. We caught up on where we had spent our last two weeks and I met a group that he had caught the bus with. We went out for drinks and chats and turns out they were doing the Tikal tour the next day, so I could redeem my tour which I had missed with my squad that day due to illness. 

....and today was that day. I got up early and tried a nearby restaurant on my own which provided the best value breakfast I'd seen. The food was incredible and I was so full I wasn't sure if I could leave the table. I grabbed some snacks and met everyone back at the hostel. When we arrived at Tikal we had roughly four hours of trekking through the jungle, being guided around the ancient Mayan ruins. Some were uncovered, some were not, but all were surrounded by spectacular green grass, trees and vines. It was such a magnificent site, and I was in awe the whole time I was there. We saw crocodiles, tarantula's, spider monkeys and gets the howl of the howler monkeys. This is the sound grab they use for the dinosaurs in the Jurassic park movie. and it felt like I was in it. We climbed up Pyramid IV and watched the sunset over the jungle. It was magical. We trekked back for an hour in darkness to the outside of the reserve which just added to the days experience. I admired the stars, as I always love to do before we were driven back to the hostel. Me and my 9 new friends (plus Mark, a pal I made in Caye who I ran into on the street on the way to dinner) went to my breakfast destination for dinner and beers, where thankfully they lived up to the expectation I had set. A delicious group meal and good conversation, and we were all shattered. A solid day of walking through Tikal ruins had ruined as, and it was back to hostel without even diverting for local ice cream. Now as I draw this blog to the end, I contemplate the 8 hour bus I have tomorrow morning to Semuc Champey. A place I have dreamed of visiting for four years since I first heard about the place. It looks to be quite the treat, and as much as I'd like to be sucked in and stay for a week, day of the dead and a kite festival near Antigua on the weekend may see me headed there within a couple of days... Who knows?! Anything could happen. And out of everyone, I should know most that things can change in a second, especially when on the road. I stick to my plan of having no plan and I roll with it. 

Enormous love and strength to all of you superheroes out there. 

Remember, change the things you can. Accept the things you can't.

Let go. But do not fall, climb xx

My name is not Linda

Two weeks in Cuba was, well, 'an experience'. Second to Morocca, or Perhaps Morocco second to Cuba, it was the most culturally shocking country I had travelled to. Everything was backwards, outdated, and difficult. Some people are eluded by this as a charm, and perhaps some people do have that experience. But for me,everything was a struggle. Communicating, eating, goods and services, Internet, anything you needed to do, good luck to you. I love to detach from the cyber world, stay in places with no cell reception, totally disconnect from the outside and reconnect onthe inside, but the place where I seemed to need that external lifeline most, and it was not readily available. Men calling out on the streets, calling out 'che lindaaaa' or something like that which meant beautiful.... Me, my reply, my name is not Linda and walked on. there is only so much you can tolerate.

Three nights in Havana was well enough, in fact I was done after I'd arrived. Unfortunately a bum steer in the location and place where I stayed attributed to the lack of enjoyment I had in the city. Understanding now the area I should have stayed, places I should have visited; if known earlier, I could have possibly been quite taken by the place. The next destination was Vinales. My stresses were already lessening on the 7 hour bus ride as we rode through some of the most green and luscious fields and mountains I'd seen. Upon arrival we were flocked with women at the bus station hounding us to stay at a room in their house. This was actually a favourable event, as it took the search out of our hands and was right at our feet. We went with one woman who was relentless and it turned out to be an alright place. The owner was a real kook, but it made us laugh everyday at her strange behaviour.

The following day we rode horses through Vinales mountains. We stopped at a cigar farm, coffee farm, waterfall and a lake. It was a pleasant experience. The scenery reminded me soo much of Borneo. The next day we were on the road again, next stop Ceinfuegos. Not a lot to report on the place, we ended up staying just the one night as the attractions were all long distances away and very expensive, and we could see much the same at the next place. I bought a nice pair of sandals to replace ones that broke, that was my highlight of the town. On the road again, we took a bus to Trinidad. This is the place we were all mostly looking forward too. Same deal upon arrival, and I nominated to go and pick from the screaming crowd which one would be our home for our stay. A young woman with a nice smile who first took my attention was the winner. We were incredibly pleased with our rooms, and we had a reasonable stay whilst there. In Trinidad we spent a few hours at the beach one day, we rode horses to some waterfalls on another. Met up with some lovely Sydney gals and had some drinks on the steps at Casa De La Musica. We also went to a nightclub inside a cave which provided interesting entertainment (the put my friend on a table and lifted it with their mouths whilst she was blindfolded holding a snake). We ate some great food whilst there (especially for Cuba) and enjoyed the charm of the cobblestone roads and horse and cart transport. Of course, we encountered many issues as you do in Cuba, with constantly being asked for money (entrance fee, tip for waiter, tip for each individual band and dance act that performed, pay for the revolting toilets....shall I continue!) stopping a tour and asking for more than the agreed price or we would be turned around, paid twice the price for water from stores which were labelled, simply because you were a tourist. We experienced not being given change from a $20 for one drink, being hassled upon leaving the casa for an extra $15 per night... It was endless. We were becoming very exhausted by the constant battery. It was so unfortunate because I think Trinidad could have been such a highlight, but as with everything in Cuba, there was just so much low light.

Our next and final destination was Veradero. A lot of travellers skip this place because it is "touristy" aka for holiday makers, but this was by far the most pleasant of places we stayed. We had a man scoop us up upon arrival and take us to his Casa just a few metres away. We had our own private room, with bathroom, kitchen and balcony. We were 100m from the beach and in the centre of the town. We really scored well with this one, with the most accomodating and kind hearted owner, even changed all our linen half way through our stay, provided drinks upon arrival and would bend over backwards to ensure we were happy and comfortable. It was so refreshing. There was an international bank close by where changing cash was quick and hassle free. Okay food and prices, and easy transport system with a tourist sight seeing bus which ran up and down the town, hop on hop off for $5 a day. We spent days wandering and laying at the beach, reading and I did a dive trip whilst there. It was a quite underwhelming, but it was another country I could add to the list, that I have explored both above land and below sea.

I had purchased a new flight to head back to Mexico a week early, on the same one with the two girls. there was no way in hell I was doing another week alone, let alone being able to afford it. An unfortunate extra expense, but necessary one. Flying into Cancun was incredibly exciting, and I was bursting at the seems to get off that plane. Straight onto a bus to Tulum and I was smiling ear to ear the whole time. As the bus neared the station I was already in the aisle with my day pack on my back, ready to jump out the door before it had opened. I didn't wait for my bag to be handed to me, but grabbed it and was just short of running back to my home of "chill in" hostel. I opened the door where all my friends from the hostel were, I threw my bags on the floor and embraced them with overwhelming happiness. We drank beer and chilled and caught up on the two weeks that passed while I was away.

I spent four nights back in my home which was enough for me to reconnect with my pals, eat delicious foods, and enjoy some new unexplored sights. There were four of us one day and we hired scooters to travel 40km to Cobá. It was so much fun. We swam inside a spectacular underground cenote, visited the ancient Mayan site and climbed a pyramid. We stopped for meal before headed back where we got rained in for over an hour. When we got on the scooters in light rain, we were soon caught in torrential rain. We stopped and took cover under an alter at the front of someone's house, completely drenched and huddled in with out little helmets, laughing hysterically at out situation. This happened twice again before I braved it and drove the rest of the distance back to the hostel. I had a moth fly down my dress whilst riding, rain pelting so hard it felt like rubber bands being flicked at my chest, could hardly see through the water in my eyes, was freezing cold, longing for warmth. However, it was the most fun and funny experience, where I have laughed so incredibly hard, and have such a fond momeory with the three others I shared it with that day.

Still struggling with being without my friend, I determined it was time to move on, and have a change of scenery. Perhaps that would lessen the reminders. I travelled solo to Bacalar which is known for its seven coloured lake. I met a lovely girl who shared a cab with me to the hostel where we got the last rooms in the house. And by rooms I mean miniature sized tents, and by house, I mean yard. It was a nice setting, where you spend your time sitting on the jetty, swimming in the lake and chilling in a hammock. It was pleasant, but the vibe in the hostel wasn't completely gelling with me, and on my second day when the torrential rains hit and flooded my tent, I took a mattress to a dorm where I became friends with the crew, and slept on the floor and high tailed out of there the next day.

I was prepped, and surprisingly headed out of Mexico! I absolutely loved what I saw and have soo very much more to see, but with a cup of concrete for breakfast, I was headed for my first boarder crossing into Belize...

Jamaica no problem

From the 26th of August until the 26th of September was the most amazing time. Two weeks in Cancun was spent mostly at the hostel with a few day trips thrown in. Most days spent drinking in or around the pool, filling up an esky and drinking at the beach. Always by my side from the time I landed was my friend Luis. Vibrant, happy and soulful, the days were always spent laughing, singing, dancing, and conversing in Spanglish. I preferred my time in Cancun at the hostel Opposed to being a tourist, making new friends everyday, drawing on people's experiences of places they have been and jumping on board places they intend to travel next. Mostly solo travellers like myself which is a huge comfort, and mostly all winging it like me also. Few and far between were small groups of friends travelling, but on restricted time, trying to cram on all the tourist spots within a couple of days, needless to say I'm pretty stoked with my unlimited timeframe. 

As many of the days in Cancun were my favourite, one of the best highlights was taking a day trip to playa del carmen. We headed there in the early afternoon and upon arrival at the beach Luis went to get some beers. When he came back, he had a home made esky from cardboard boxes, a bag of ice, two six packs and a surprise michelada mix for me. We drank all afternoon, swam, laughed, spoke in our broken Spanglish and watched the sunset before dinner and a bus back to Cancun. We both fell asleep and had the driver waking us at the station once the bus was empty. The following night would end up being our last in Cancun. I was starting to get a little cabin fever and booked my next leg to Tulum which is roughly two hours south. The last night in the hostel we had a pool party and took plenty of snaps and videos which truly captured the energy of the evening.

It was the 9th of September Luis joined me for the trip to Tulum with an onward journey home to Chile in sight. We checked in at Chill In, which would become our home for the next 17 nights. I can't believe how that time has flown. Our first night was ladies night at a local bar and we drunk and danced until the early hours of the morning. That following day for me was hell with an epic hangover in the most incredible heat. That night we went to the beach with the hostel crew, 13 of us all crammed into a van with the plan to watch turtles lay eggs and release hatchlings to the sea. Unfortunately most people had such a big day that soon as we set up our sheets on the beach, and our heads hit the sand we all fell asleep with only a couple waking for the experience. The Stars were the most incredible I had seen, with the Milky Way so clear. I saw a shooting star, made a wish and that's all until I remember until waking up at sunrise for a dip, before we all headed back to the hostel.

The following day we headed to the Tulum ruins in the scorching heat of the day. The location was gorgeous but due to the heat, we briskly took photos and shuffled out in under 45 minutes. That afternoon my pal started to fall ill. Aches and pains, a headache, I thought perhaps a hangover until it rapidly progressed into a full blown fever. It lasted for some 3/4 days where the decline in health and wellbeing was overwhelming to see. I played doctor until a few days in when he was able to get about and eat again, we treated ourselves to a big salad for lunch. We had been disinfecting lettuce while in Cancun but on this day, we totally dropped the ball. We soaked it in filtered water, but by no means was that enough. That evening I spent rushing from bed to the bathroom at least two dozen times. The following day I was exhausted and slept with a fear to move anywhere other then my bed. The roles were soon reversed with me now playing patient. I was waited on hand and foot, even spoon fed jelly before being dragged from bed to be taken to the hospital. We negotiated to me just being taken to the doctor where it was a no brainer for him that I had a bacterial infection from the lettuce. Three types of antibiotics and as soon as I took the first round, all bodily movements stopped, however I had to put up with the most incredible cramps and pains for the next five days. Whilst at the doctor, Luis had a referral for blood tests which came back the dengue fever. We were then known as "dengue man and bacteria girl" at the hostel for the rest of our stay. This is what had our stay there extended and I guess why it didn't feel like it was really 17 days. Talking with mum she said how horrible it must be to be so sick and so far from home. However the thought had not even crossed my mind. I had five star treatment, it was so lucky that each of us experienced our illness while with each other. The only thing which could have made it any better was an air conditioned room.

In no time at all, we had become part of the Chill in family. The hostel was family run and we had become honorary family members. We would never wake in time for breakfast so Teresa would secretly stash our plates of food in the microwave for when we did wake. It was such a homely place. Suzanna the three month old kitten stole our hearts and we were forever laughing at her running about the place, falling asleep on the first lap she could find. We managed to fit in a few trips out of the hostel in our window of good health. Bike rides to the beach, two cenotes, another trip to Playa Del Carmen for Micheladas, a couple of trips to the gorgeous Akumal bay beach, and I had a day of diving. After 16 months, my welcome back into the underwater world was a good one. The Pit, Dos Ojos and Carwash were the three cenotes we dived. Carwash was by far the most incredible with a layer of mud and sediment a couple of metres above the floor gave it a mystical fairytale feel, with colours of green and blue sitting above crystal clear water. The photos speak for themselves. 

CARWASH CENOTE - Tulum

Our daily ritual continued on from Cancun with trips to the supermarket and hours spent cooking in the kitchen. My own personal chef was beyond incredible, and I loved being the assistant, though I often felt like I was more of a drag then a help in the way of a professional. Right up until our last day, where we didn't even spend the day at the beach as planned, but spent hours in the kitchen making Empanadas. In the evening Tulum cried heavily for us with heavy rain which did not let up. After a few beers and tequilas we went out to a local bar where we had "just one beer" five times... We danced and danced and danced before I put on the brakes at 3am knowing we had to be out of the hostel on the way to the airport in a couple hours. In true form we cooked up a storm of ham and cheese croissants on the stove before passing out.

ROADTRIP TO AKUMAL

A couple of hours later it was near impossible for either of us to wake, but we had no other option. Still half cut we finished packing and began our journey to Cancun airport. It was still raining and we weren't feeling top notch. Late, but still in time, I checked into my flight to Havana, Cuba. Feeling a bit regretful about the trip, it was to late to change my mind. I could always come back. After a drawn out goodbye and a blinking back of tears, we parted ways. One to Cuba, one to Chile. Until we meet again...

A one hour flight to Havana gave me no time to sleep. At the airport I didn't even have time to blink before "Charlie" (Carlos) a taxi driver whisked me up in his old blue car and had me on my way to my "hostel". At the traffic lights he bought us a paper of peanuts which we enjoyed while listening to the Beatles which he blasted from his car. At the "hostel" the landlord spoke no English. I was meant to be meeting two girls I met in Tulum that arrived the day before. I was told they weren't there. I started to freak out. They were the reason I came and I hadn't even considered being a solo traveller in Cuba. For a couple of hours I was completely distressed. I had no other option but to book a night. I was taken to an apartment room around the corner into a room with four beds and I was the only check in. My world was turned upside down and all I could think of was getting on a flight back to Mexico. Once in the room I ugly cried for a good few minutes before telling myself to pulling it together. Go to sleep at 5pm and face the day tomorrow. Soon following, someone came into the apartment. I blurted "do you speak English??!!" And to my relief he did. Leonardo from Brazil was also travelling alone and was also somewhat distressed about his arrival and short time in Cuba. We latched onto each other as I told him the situation of the girls not being here and having yet another cry. I had a little nap to sleep of the emotions; and when I woke around 8pm we went for a walk to get some dinner (though I had absolutely no appetite).

Walking the streets in darkness, the poverty and squaller was confronting. He bought me a beer as I had no local money and told me to be happy. I know that these moments happen when you travel. You are put in an uncomfortable situation and its fight or flight, and my instinct is flight. A feeling of complete loss. I felt so empty and alien in this country. It was very culturally shocking and to travel here solo was appearing to be madness, let alone not being able to speak Spanish. You have the feeling of complete loss, but you know that it always turns around; however keeping that light of hope in such a distressing time is difficult. It was late and we walked back where i began writing this blog before falling asleep. The following morning I woke to it pouring rain outside. I remembered my situation, which was exaggerated by saying goodbye to best friend the day before and I brushed away more tears. It was painful to pull myself from the featel position which I laid, however I had a plan to find wifi (incredibly difficult, expensive and slow) and book a flight back to Mexico in a couple of days. I gave myself a pep talk when I realised the torture I was putting myself through in my thoughts and told myself to think nothing but positives about being here. We walked via the Revoltutionary square which was a good geez with gorgeous old cars in the streets. I found where the post office was which would be open the following day for postcard duty to home, a cash exchange so I could finally have some local cash (yes I had only just arrived but I can be quite hard on myself) and we walked around Havana for hours. I was feeling just remotely more comfortable. We ate a reasonable lunch of chicken and rice for 2CUC ( approx $3.50 Aud) and I had finally come to understand the two currencies which are used (which was also one of the very daunting things I was freaking out about the day before - everything was just to difficult). We took a couple snaps in an old car without charge and I bought a wifi card on the street for 3CUC to contact home and arrange for my flight change. I felt like in 24 hours I was done. I'd seen the cars, walked the streets and was ready to head home. There were no other travellers, no hostel environment, people only spoke Spanish and interactions were difficult. It's hard to encapsulate the experience unless you have seen Havana yourself. Everything is rundown, poverty is everywhere, people pissing and pooing in the streets. It was incredibly confronting. Once I send a postcard and buy a cigar, I felt like my experience was complete and I had no other reason to struggle around on my own for a further three weeks. I was ready to hit Central America. It took thirty minutes to try to connect to the wifi where in another forty minutes I was only able to send and receive a couple of messages. I asked for a flight within a couple of days, I didn't care for the details, just book and I'll check the wifi in the evening to get them and go.

When I got back to the apartment a letter was left for me with the girls!! They were here and staying seven floors above me in the apartment. I could not believe it. I don't even have the energy to explain the fiasco with with landlord and giving us both wrong information. The girls told them the day before I would come, name time everything. When I Arrived I gave the same. But no. This idiot told me they booked and didn't arrive and when I arrived looking for two Australian girls who checked int he day before, gave names and even found a photo, nothing. No clue. I don't even have words for how moronic they were and how much distressed was caused! Anyway, I met the girls and we moaned about how idiotic the landlord and staff were and that we would resume which was to be a group travel in Cuba. We would struggle our way through this country together. Two guys from Germany had also checked into my room so we all met in the lounge for a beer before heading out for dinner and a drink... We were all so happy to interact with fellow travellers in this country. The boys had been travelling in Cuba for 9 days and had not met any others. This place truly is a different world.

We headed out for dinner where the already minimum menu was reduced as they had run out of ingredients/food which is a common occurrence. I used the remaining ten minutes of wifi in a public zone and advised mum that I'd found the girls and I'd leave Havana the following day and try another destination. I'd got to her in the nick of time before she confirmed payment for my emergency flight out. In any case the next chance I get to find wifi I'll most likely book a much earlier flight out than what was already booked for three weeks out. Crazy.

Today I woke still with a pit of emotion and a desire to be back in Mexico. I know that everything is exaggerated and inflamed and I am viewing everything through a veil of sadness as I don't have my best friend by my side. I just have to push through. The morning was a fiasco of Dana trying to get money from a bank. After our third one, success and we couldn't be happier for her success. Timing was on point to get out of the apartment and to the bus station. No time for wifi or post office, however thankfully and surprisingly I could buy a stamp and post from the bus station. Now the three amigos are travelling three hours to Vinales for two nights, let's hope it's a beauty!

I am repeating daily mantras from my best friend to see me through the tough times, "Jamaica no problem", "Take it easy", and "All is possible". What an incredible human being to leave such a positive mark in my life, and what a pleasure it was to see it shared with every person he met. It's my hope I can do this for others.

Enormous love, Kassie x

Apocolypta Kassie shark girl

After nine late nights in Cancun, i am laying in my own bed for the first time, with an opportunity to reflect on the time that has been thus far...

Arriving in Mexico was easy and relaxed. I waited for my pick up for an hour before borrowing a phone to find out I would need to catch a taxi. Upon arrival I was warmly greeted by the owner, Monica and "upgraded" to a 6 bed girls dorm with private bathroom. It turned out to be  a score even though I've hardly slept in there! The hostel was buzzing with dinner on the cook, and a sweaty sexy Chilean chef Luis slaving over the Bbq. It was the first night for me, and the last night for a couple of mad dawgs in the hostel so it was a feast of rump steak, pork ribs, chicken wings and all the trimmings. If this is what free breakfast and dinner looks like, I'm going to be in food heaven. A large long table with bright colourful table cloth ran through the centre of the  outdoor area of the hostel. Cold beers all round and tequila on the house, the party started not long after we ate!

After a couple of hours of being here, i had initiation of tequila being poured down my throat, a swim with Derek the fat duck (novelty pool filter) and then the antics began - thrown in the pool with clothes on (so I have come to learn it happens ALL the time), boys doing naked backflips in the pool, endless pegging of pool toys at each other's heads, shoulder wrestling, lots of cocktails, dancing, flirting, and so on... At 3am I was told I had to pop my Mexican taco cherry because they are not at all like we have them at home. Soaking wet in our clothes we stumble down the road where we enjoyed a feast. Two of the Aussie boys went for hot dogs, and mi amigo "jimmy" ate five! We went back and partied until sometime between 4am - 6am (standard) before starting again the next day. It wasn't until day 3 or 4 I actually ventured out of the hostel and further than the corner store.

First day at the beach with 5 new pals, we filled an esky with Havana and home made sugar lime syrup and bought some lunch supplies. We are enjoyed cocktails in overcast weather, still enjoying the Caribbean Ocean (that's right, Caribbean! I'm in the freaking Caribbean Sea!). We watched epic storm clouds form, rain in the distance and thunder and lightening, but all avoiding us. It was amazing, and also a reality check that it doesn't take sunshine to be in awe of the glorious Mother Nature.

A day trip to a local island of Isla Mujeres had me the darkest burn/tan in only a couple hours. Painful way to catch up on the holiday tan. Today my skin is covered in blisters and patchy peeling. The sun here is incredible. Time is mostly spent partying at the hostel, swimming in the pool and drinking with new friends every day. Breakfast in the afternoon, late nights (or early mornings) and repeat.

Today we went on a boat trip to swim with whale sharks. It was not so much swimming as it was jumping of the boat, swimming for 30 seconds to get a quick video chase and a couple photos, then back in the boat. In any case it was an honour to be in the ocean so close to them. I have acquired the self-titled position of head potterer around the hostel, assisting with the daily dinner shopping duties and assisting at meal time which is blast. I've become incredibly fond of this hostel and already extended my stay, with perhaps a week longer.

Everyday I laugh so hard, smile always, and am as happy as a pig in poop, I have a acquired a new nickname, and more wonderful shared experiences which is topping me right up. My heart is so freaking big and bright. Being told by people i meet that their first impressions of me are my smile, happiness and helpfulness is a pretty good sign I'm on the right track. I love this life. I love me.

The only consequence is that I have become so fond of the hostel, and the staff. I am comfortable and safe which is going to be hard when the time (whenever that may be) comes to leave. This place is my home. But I rest in the comfort of knowing this is only just the beginning! So many more awesome adventures to be had. Trying to soak it all up, and thoroughly be present in each moment that unfolds. Paying attention to the details of each day and the wonderful times being experienced.

As far as the next adventure goes, I am looking at flying into Cuba this month. Cuba keeps popping up in my face so I think I should head there next and soak up some culture. Perhaps then a journey over to the Pacific Coast of South Mexico and eventually headed into Central America. Then again, I could get a job and stay here for 3 months, I could end up in Jamaica, straight down to South America, or who knows what else... The joys of having no plans!

Im having the time of my life. Don't worry, be happy xx

Here we go

"When I fly to Mexico Tomorrow..." was an actual sentence that I was able to say today...