The next adventure begins!

Okay, so now I feel a little bit guilty after being such a dippy downer since being home because in a flash I am off again! With some perspective, it is interesting to look back and reflect on how I really felt being home and what was going on in my head and my heart.

This past week I tried a lot harder on my positive thinking, giving thanks and mentally preparing for what I wanted to happen next. It really does take a lot of practice and continual cultivation. 

Thankfully the old "It's not what you know, it's who you know" prevailed and one of my fellow interns who is working in IOS, GREECE happened to advise me that they were looking for another instructor. I was asked to come ASAP and everything just changed so quickly! This past week I have also had a positive response from another business, which would be a great move for my career, should they accept me and I start after the Greece job. In any case, though it may not be a 5 star PADI CDC or IDC, or a 5 start resort to which I was hoping to step back into... it is a step to getting me back there. 

It is so important for me to continue practicing what I learnt and getting as much experience as possible, regardless of where that may be. Also to my benefit to live with and work with someone I have before is an advantage. Not to mention I will be taking personal advantage of his love for training to get my ass into shape for the Euro summer - Though it may take the whole summer to happen!

To truly make this experience even more exciting, some of my best friends are travelling to Ios at the same time I will be there, and I will teach them to dive! Let alone having one of my best friends picking me up from Athens airport and having a sleep over on my first night! The stunning international model Alex Ford! I can't wait to meet her little puppy Ralphy! Also being close to all the friends I made when I was in Italy, I'm sure I will see some more familiar faces during the summer, and no doubt I will make many, many new friends!

It is going to be a very interesting and exciting time in Greece, as it will be a completely different lifestyle to that I was living in the Maldives. As far as what to wear at work - I was told I could just wear a bikini! Chalk and cheese!

So now I have a real push to get everything i need to done within the next few days in order to be completely prepared and comfortable while away.

Thankfully I ordered my action camera for underwater photography purposes and it should arrive JUST in time before I depart! Fingers and toes crossed! Then I can make some fully sick videos for your viewing pleasure!

I hope to have my biopsy results back from last week, with nothing to worry about by the time I leave. After taking 3 days to recover from what felt like Freddy Kruger had riped out my cervix and thrown it under a bus, that that should be the last of it. I ain't got time fo dat!

Time to reserve my flight and start packing and truly enjoy the last week I have at home!

Be happy with where you are and what you are doing. Recognise that even if its not where you dream to be, that it is a step in getting you there. 

Love and happiness, 

Kassie

lost and confused

The past three weeks I have been home have been somehwat challenging. I didn't consider how difficult it wold be to settle in after the adventure that I had. With minimal availabilities to apply for, I think I need to find a new action plan. I have given myself until early/mid July to get myself work, if not, i'm going to jump on a plane and travel, and hope that I can pick up some work along the way. 

In the meantime, I am getting through my 'shit list' of things to do while I am home. Spending time with the people I missed the most while away and thinking of harder times I have gotten through.

It's difficult because I do not have work to keep my mind occupied, and it's easy to worry about what's going to happen next. I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that everything will work out fine in it's own time. Now it's time to reflect on what has been and what will be, and work on continuing the dream.

With few (no) developments to report on, i'm going to keep on doing my best and hope that someone is wiling to give me a chance, as a new OWSI, just as Andy gave me the chance in accepting me for the internship program.

If there is a will, there is a way... 

Love Kass

be glittery

Another week at home down, another week of lazing around. It’s cold, and I have lacked all motivation in getting into a healthy routine. I have definitely beaten myself up a lot this past week and let my thoughts dominate my reality. I could see it happening and I knew exactly what I had to do to pull myself out, but it was so much easier just to stay in bed.

Later in the week I got out of the house to celebrate two important birthday’s. I went to my best mates house and caught up with his and his partner’s families, who are virtually an extension of me as we have all grown up together. It was great to enjoy an Aussie bbq and many good laughs.

The following evening was my mum’s birthday, which so far, I have made it home for every year I am away. I spent the day out fishing with my mate on his new boat, doing exactly what she wishes she was doing! She messaged me through the day to find out where we were fishing, what bait we were using, what we had caught etc. as she lived vicariously through me for the day! 

I’ve hit a small snag on a job this week, however it just proved far to expensive of an outlay for the return. It was a four week project in Cuba. It is in the part of the world which i desperately want to be, and would have been a good start for me, and then I could move around from there. However with expenses in getting me there exceeding $4,000 for 4 weeks work returning less than a couple of hundred a week, it was by no means viable. Had it been long term, I could have gone, however I have had to determine where I draw the line for my expenses outlay v. “experience”. It’s an interesting time, taking suggestions and tips from diving mentors I had met along the way.... 

In the back of my mind however I was busy worrying about something else. Some medical results. Whether I should even be applying for jobs, or waiting until all the results are back. As I have previously written about, before leaving for the Maldives I had a health scare. I decided to go to the Maldives and enjoy my life and deal with what may be when I got back. Now that i’m back it was time to deal with that elephant in the corner. I had the test done on Thursday and it was today that I got the results back. I am happy to report that the results have gone from possible high grade pre-cancerous cells, to low grade. Further investigation is required and I will be headed to the hospital in the coming weeks to be poked and prodded to get an accurate diagnosis. Feeling much lighter about the situation at hand.

Since coming home, I really needed some sort of push of inspiration. To stop me laying around in bed snacking, to get me off my ass and start feeling good again. It was no more turquoise waters and warm sunny days, no more daily diving and guitar sessions with my pals, and I needed to suck it up. Who would have thought tucked up in bed watching reality TV show Masterchef that some words of wisdom from a world famous chef would be enough for me to kick over? I rarely, if ever watch TV, I believe its all a load of brainwashing garbage, but here I was... One of the contestants was having a bad day and the chef came out and said something along the lines of ‘it’s easy to beat yourself up about it, but you have to pull yourself up out of it’. 

When I heard those word, I contemplated them so much deeper. How beating yourself up is a cop-out, the easy action, I considered how piss-weak it was of me to just lay around beating myself up about things that I could easily change, but didn’t bother to. 

I know it’s all to common where we have moments when we are down, and sometimes we  bask in those feelings. But we need to draw a line on how long we stay down for and then pull ourselves back up. I’ve recognised i’m just having a lull at the moment.  It can’t be ‘all that glitters’ all the time. With a brighter looking bill of health, contemplation on some simple truths, I think i’m ready to turn it back around, make it glittery no matter what the conditions.

Happiness is a choice. Even if you are sad, be happy about being sad.

Still chasing the dream....

Kass xx

post Maldives depression

It is taking me quite a lot of courage to continue on writing this bog. Back at home, in cold Brisbane, rugged up in a blanket in my bed.. not so inspiring as the turquoise waters and endless ocean.

On my last evening in the Maldives, I enjoyed some BBQ fish on the beach with some of my pals. What would it be without a final midnight swim and making the most of the last hours I had left. It didn’t seem real, that I would actually walking away from Paradise and not coming back. I think I was in denial. I avoided saying goodbye as much as possible and when I did depart, it was with a ‘I’ll see you somewhere around the world in the next few years’. It was the type of place which attracted travelers. People who would work there for perhaps a couple of years, before moving onto the next. I can’t imagine not seeing my closest LG friends again, and I know that we will keep in touch and catch up along our way; or, at least that thought gives me some condolence. The last few days in the Maldives have proven to be very memorable. When I close my eyes, all I see is the blue seas, starry skies and glowing plankton in the sea. I still feel like a part of me is there, that I haven’t completely left. I think I will carry this forever.

Tuesday morning I was rudely put on a 6am staff charter seaplane, which meant i had 17 hours in Male until my flight! After some stuffing around, I ended up spending from about 9am - 7pm at a nearby hotel and sleeping by a swimming pool in the cool and overcast weather. It ended up being an expensive day, long and very tiring. Reality was starting to hit. Though I wanted the transit to be over and for me to be home already, I was starting to feel a hole in my heart, knowing I wouldn’t be going home to LG.

After a few hours at the airport, I headed to board my plane. Unfortunately I couldn’t make the most of the inexpensive cafe Patron (Tequila), as I was changing flights in Kuala Lumpur - where it happened to be more than double in price. After a rough flight to KL, with little sleep, I was worrying about collecting my bags and checking into my next flight in enough time. Thankfully my transit went quite smoothly and I was immediately making the most of a great wifi signal. The final leg home and I had a spare seat next to me, so I alternated between watching an hour of a movie, and sleeping for an hour. We arrived earlier than planned which was nice, but as per usual, the airspace in Brisbane was congested so we had to circle for 20 minutes before hitting the ground.

It was a quick walk through immigration, bag collection and then slid smoothly through customs. A teary arrival at the gate, before the long awaited drive home. The air was cool and unfamiliar, and I started to feel quite emotional about not being on my island home.

Thursday through Monday have been a flurry of social activity. Plenty of partying, napping, and eating far too much food. A few more days to catch up with the closest friends in my life, before kicking back and spending it with the absolute nearest and dearest to me, preferably by the beach! All the while, trying to figure out where the next step is going to be to.. There are plenty of ideas, but nothing really grabbing.

Each day my heart is a little sadder for having left the Maldives. I could nearly cry at the thought of no longer being there, but whether I like it or not, it’s time to move on. I had the most beautiful experiences of my life, in location I could only ever dream of existing. It’s time to give thanks, and release. 

K xx

Maldives - The final chapter

Monday evening I was invited to buffet dinner in he resort and enjoyed a wonderful feast. I think I ate my weight in pork - a real treat when you haven't had any for nearly 3 months! I completely gorged and don’t regret a thing! 

Tuesday I had a day off and I went on the boat for a private trip where we did three incredible dives. It was a long day, and I needed another day off to recover!  The first dive was a wreck, the second one was in a channel and the third one was a wall. The most incredible dive was the second one in the channel, there were half a dozen sharks, one came just a few short meters from me and I was pretty cool... until its eye ball connected with my eye ball! It was incredibly unnerving! We also saw a giant sting ray, a Massive Napoleon and Eagle rays. There was a mega strong current which when we then drifted in after holding on to watch the sharks, it was very cool. 

Between this dive and our last for the day, we saw dozens upon dozens of dolphins swimming past the boat. We jumped off with our snorkel gear and watched them swim and heard them speak, just beautiful. Then when we got back on the boat we watched them show off, flipping through the air. The third dive was very memorable, amongst all of the amazing creatures we saw, nothing compares to the 15-20 giant sea turtles, they were about the size of a Daewoo matiz! I was very happy to enjoy three wonderful dives at sites I hadn’t been to all before leaving the Maldives.

For the rest of the week I was teaching an open water course to some staff at the resort, I call them the dudes. They were great to teach and were so thankful at the end of the course. One of them in particular gave a very heartfelt thanks and said how he will always remember this experience. It was very touching.

Thursday evening we had a little gathering to farewell us interns. A ‘crepe party’. It was in the living room of our apartment block and sweet and savory crepes were all over the place, in and around all faces. We experimented with some combinations - cheese and nutella, nutella cheese and banana to name a few. It was a cruisy evening with people coming and going, some light music in the background and then of course me and the boys doing wheelies on bicycles out the front! haha

Most significant this week is that I achieved a couple of big personal milestones. This left me feeling very liberated! I can very happily leave here filling fufilled. 

Towards the end of the week I was so exhausted that I was really struggling to get through social evenings, shocking! I know... you can imagine just how tired I must have been!Sunday evening was the cocktail evening where I enjoyed my last glasses of Riesling, the sunset at Blu beach and the delicious finger food. Afterwards I met some of my pals where we chilled out on the beach having lots of laughs an good times.

Its now Monday, and to start the day I enjoyed an incredible breakfast with two of my good friends here at Blu beach. I have then spent the rest of the day pottering about and packing which I have really enjoyed. I find out this evening what time I depart tomorrow, fingers crossed it should be a late afternoon seaplane flight as I have a 9.30pm international one. I don’t know what Im going to do when I see a busy city, i think i will be dazed and confused as i venture out of my island home, back into the big world! 

I am happy to say that three months here has not flown by. In fact, it feels like it was much longer. It was jam packed and full of so much variety. I had times of long days, studying at night, stressing over exams and assessments, learning how to run the dive centre as well as conduct courses; late nights of laugher and stories over cold beers in the living room; evenings at the beach playing guitar and singing under a starlit sky; most importantly making friends who I feel that so many of them I will meet again in my travels.

There are some things that I am not going to miss, but thankfully its not  a lot. I don’t think its really going to hit me until i’ve settled in a couple days back home just how much it hurts me to be away from this life and even more so the people. 

There are many crazy and hilarious stories which are yet to be told, which I cant wait to share when i’m back home having a few drinks catching up on lost time with my pals.

Now it’s time to start looking for, and applying for jobs. If I don’t have something to fall into in July, I think i’m just going to hit the road and start traveling and see what I can pick up along the way. Until then, its parties, concerts and fun times when i’m home!

Tonight the boys are having a bbq on the beach which is one of my most favorite things here and I am so happy I get to enjoy this one more time. Grilled fish on the bbq with a backdrop of turquoise blue waters and a starry sky. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity to do what I am doing. For someone with virtually no experience, to ask for a chance, and be given that chance in one of the most incredible locations in the world is just mind blowing. Now i’m a dive instructor, and its time to travel the world and continue to do what I love.

Do what you love. 

Kassie xx