Summer in Greece

I have had an incredibly overwhelming week, from booking my flights to Greece, arriving here and everything that has happened in between. On the day of my flight, I had still not heard the results of my biopsy, so I had to follow this up myself. At midday the results had come through, yet due to the time constraints I could not see the specialist at the hospital and therefore had them sent to my GP.

The results that came back were CIN3, which, well, are not good. In short, I have to have part of my womb removed. I was old to cancel my trip and to have the surgery the following week. I could not quite get my head around this concept as my plane was leaving in only a few hours. After seeking some specialist advice, and consulting my 3 closest loves, I virtually had the decision made for me as I was an emotional wreck and could hardly think or talk. I would come to Greece for a couple of months and have the operation as soon as I returned. If I was to stressed about it, I could come back and have the operation sooner.

What I was also considering with this turn of events, was the offer of a wonderful job in the Cook Islands. It was a great mentor type role with so much abundance to learn and develop my skills. The time frame would have worked well from operation - recovery - new job. I had so much going through my mind, I couldn't think reasonably, though, this I think - would have been the better decision...

In a couple of hours I was dropped at the airport and on my way. I was completely emotionally exhausted and confused. I had three flights over 28 hours. I was so happy to land in Athens where I had Alexandra and her little puppy Ralphy waiting for me. Alex was wearing ski goggles which were the closest thing to a dive mask, and was holding a sign which made me laugh. We arrived at her apartment where I could finally refresh before we went out to dinner. We enjoyed a Greek salad to which I replied "do you want some salad with that feta" It was the size of my head! I enjoyed a Gyros which was a bit fat piece of bread filled with pork or chicken, salad - the best tzatziki ever, and french fries.

By the time we got home it was midnight, which I will have to get used to again, the late living hours of Europe. Dinner around 9-10pm and home around midnight. The following day I caught an early morning, 4.5 hour ferry to Ios. Thankfully I had kind people to help me carry my two suitcases up and down the stairs. I arrived with a driver waiting for me at the port and drove me to the dive centre on Mylopotas beach. There, Andrea met me and his smile couldn't be bigger. He had been running the place for the past few weeks alone and was in dire need of my help. After a few hours of hanging around, I finally made it to my apartment where I could shower and was intending to have a sleep.

The apartment had one of the most incredible views, completely looking over Mylopotas beach. It was stunning. The room on the other hand, had left a lot to be desired! A basic bathroom, with a hand held hose for a shower where the water floods the floors. They don't even provide toilet paper! Three single beds with mattresses from the 1960's. Not even double folding a blanket under my bed sheet subsides the pain from the springs penetrating my back. Much the same for the pillow. There is no cupboard room so my clothing stays in my suitcase on the floor. Somewhat worst of all, no wifi signal. The first night I got ambushed by mosquitos in my sleep and woke up with massive lumps which felt like bruises. I couldn't take my rings off my fingers had swelled up so much, i’d never had a reaction to mosquitos before but apparently that’s pretty normal here. The mosquitos are fierce.

The past three days has seen me in tears morning and night, regretting ny decision to be here and trying to swallow the bitter pillow of "what if". What if i chose to stay home, have treatment and take the Cook Islands job. I have been completely miserable and been on the verge of booking a flight straight out of here. The job is completely autonomous, which usually I would like. However to be a new instructor, and the most experienced diver in the company, with no one superior or more experienced to refer to, is completely daunting. I wouldn't use the words professional or organized in my description of the place - but as I have been reassured - we can turn that around, and we will.

I had two days of terrible diving in bad conditions which only added to my distressed state. Our dives are done form the shore which I find difficult, in charging the breaking waves on the beach to get out and dive from there. On the boat, we have to carry all of our equipment and walk to the beach where we stand in neck deep water and load our stuff up on the boat. The boat is small and it is awkward in getting the equipment on everyone before going into the water. Everything is new, and I am completely unfamiliar. I have no doubt that in time that, I will look back on my first week here and roll my eyes at myself - but until then, i just have to take it day by day, rest and try to relax.

I had a 10 hour sleep last night which took some of the edge off today, and I think if I keep heading home form work and going straight to sleep for a few days, that should fix me up some more. Lots of rest and relaxation.

For now I need to try to chill out and just relax. Lucky I have two very special people who I am on the phone to all day every day shooting me advice and helping me to calm my mind. As I am usually told, I am far to hard on myself. Im sure its not that bad and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. I know its just like Thailand all over again, when I first arrived I completely freaked out, doubted myself and my decisions. This time next week I hope to be writing about how my life is all sunshine and rainbows!

Trying to keep that chin up and the dream alive.

Kass xx 

you never ever know if you never ever go

Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement. I leave for Greece tomorrow.

Since booking my flights only a week ago, I have experience much anticipation on the arrival of my new action camera, and the arrival of Alex’s hair extensions. Thankfully all arrived ahead of time, giving me time to focus on other things.

I am a very drawn out suitcase packer. I like to scour every cupboard and drawer, every shelf and container, containing the copious amounts of personal property I own. I then pool the stuff I want to take and then start the culling process from there. It’s only then that i feel satisfied about my decisions of what 30kg of personal property shall accompany me on my next journey.

It was to my absolute delight that my airline allows an extra bag /10kg for sporting equipment, allowing me to designate one entire suitcase to my gear, and one whole entire suitcase to myself! After the last trip, this is an incredible luxury. With plenty of time up my sleeve, it was quite therapeutic to be ironing and rolling my clothes and using the tetris method to pack my suitcase - its incredible how my suitcase packing skills have developed to ensure i’m getting the most out of my space!

With many last minute errands, I was still holding my own up until today. The reality of saying “see you soon” to so many wonderful people pulled a few heart strings and with only a day to go I had a few tears when I threw myself into the arms of a girlfriend who came to see me this afternoon. I have no doubt that I will have a great time, as each adventure has proven to be, but there always seems to be some overwhelming emotional distress right before I leave, or right upon arrival which does subside with time.

As I near the last comforts (and winter chills!) of home, I appreciate the wonderful people who have visited me and shown me a great time since I have been home. Many laughs and many wonderful conversations.

As it goes, ‘When it rains it pours’. Today I was offered the job in the Cook Islands to which I had a good eye on. Unfortunately the start date was smack bam in the middle of me being in the Greek Islands and I had to decline. 

Only two weeks ago I was freaking out about not being able to land myself a job, and next minute i’m flying to the Greek islands for the summer and turning down a job in the Cook Islands. Oh how things have changed!

This time next week I will be sharing my stories about my first week in the Greek Islands! Bring on summer!

Love and sunshine, Kassie

The next adventure begins!

Okay, so now I feel a little bit guilty after being such a dippy downer since being home because in a flash I am off again! With some perspective, it is interesting to look back and reflect on how I really felt being home and what was going on in my head and my heart.

This past week I tried a lot harder on my positive thinking, giving thanks and mentally preparing for what I wanted to happen next. It really does take a lot of practice and continual cultivation. 

Thankfully the old "It's not what you know, it's who you know" prevailed and one of my fellow interns who is working in IOS, GREECE happened to advise me that they were looking for another instructor. I was asked to come ASAP and everything just changed so quickly! This past week I have also had a positive response from another business, which would be a great move for my career, should they accept me and I start after the Greece job. In any case, though it may not be a 5 star PADI CDC or IDC, or a 5 start resort to which I was hoping to step back into... it is a step to getting me back there. 

It is so important for me to continue practicing what I learnt and getting as much experience as possible, regardless of where that may be. Also to my benefit to live with and work with someone I have before is an advantage. Not to mention I will be taking personal advantage of his love for training to get my ass into shape for the Euro summer - Though it may take the whole summer to happen!

To truly make this experience even more exciting, some of my best friends are travelling to Ios at the same time I will be there, and I will teach them to dive! Let alone having one of my best friends picking me up from Athens airport and having a sleep over on my first night! The stunning international model Alex Ford! I can't wait to meet her little puppy Ralphy! Also being close to all the friends I made when I was in Italy, I'm sure I will see some more familiar faces during the summer, and no doubt I will make many, many new friends!

It is going to be a very interesting and exciting time in Greece, as it will be a completely different lifestyle to that I was living in the Maldives. As far as what to wear at work - I was told I could just wear a bikini! Chalk and cheese!

So now I have a real push to get everything i need to done within the next few days in order to be completely prepared and comfortable while away.

Thankfully I ordered my action camera for underwater photography purposes and it should arrive JUST in time before I depart! Fingers and toes crossed! Then I can make some fully sick videos for your viewing pleasure!

I hope to have my biopsy results back from last week, with nothing to worry about by the time I leave. After taking 3 days to recover from what felt like Freddy Kruger had riped out my cervix and thrown it under a bus, that that should be the last of it. I ain't got time fo dat!

Time to reserve my flight and start packing and truly enjoy the last week I have at home!

Be happy with where you are and what you are doing. Recognise that even if its not where you dream to be, that it is a step in getting you there. 

Love and happiness, 

Kassie

lost and confused

The past three weeks I have been home have been somehwat challenging. I didn't consider how difficult it wold be to settle in after the adventure that I had. With minimal availabilities to apply for, I think I need to find a new action plan. I have given myself until early/mid July to get myself work, if not, i'm going to jump on a plane and travel, and hope that I can pick up some work along the way. 

In the meantime, I am getting through my 'shit list' of things to do while I am home. Spending time with the people I missed the most while away and thinking of harder times I have gotten through.

It's difficult because I do not have work to keep my mind occupied, and it's easy to worry about what's going to happen next. I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that everything will work out fine in it's own time. Now it's time to reflect on what has been and what will be, and work on continuing the dream.

With few (no) developments to report on, i'm going to keep on doing my best and hope that someone is wiling to give me a chance, as a new OWSI, just as Andy gave me the chance in accepting me for the internship program.

If there is a will, there is a way... 

Love Kass

be glittery

Another week at home down, another week of lazing around. It’s cold, and I have lacked all motivation in getting into a healthy routine. I have definitely beaten myself up a lot this past week and let my thoughts dominate my reality. I could see it happening and I knew exactly what I had to do to pull myself out, but it was so much easier just to stay in bed.

Later in the week I got out of the house to celebrate two important birthday’s. I went to my best mates house and caught up with his and his partner’s families, who are virtually an extension of me as we have all grown up together. It was great to enjoy an Aussie bbq and many good laughs.

The following evening was my mum’s birthday, which so far, I have made it home for every year I am away. I spent the day out fishing with my mate on his new boat, doing exactly what she wishes she was doing! She messaged me through the day to find out where we were fishing, what bait we were using, what we had caught etc. as she lived vicariously through me for the day! 

I’ve hit a small snag on a job this week, however it just proved far to expensive of an outlay for the return. It was a four week project in Cuba. It is in the part of the world which i desperately want to be, and would have been a good start for me, and then I could move around from there. However with expenses in getting me there exceeding $4,000 for 4 weeks work returning less than a couple of hundred a week, it was by no means viable. Had it been long term, I could have gone, however I have had to determine where I draw the line for my expenses outlay v. “experience”. It’s an interesting time, taking suggestions and tips from diving mentors I had met along the way.... 

In the back of my mind however I was busy worrying about something else. Some medical results. Whether I should even be applying for jobs, or waiting until all the results are back. As I have previously written about, before leaving for the Maldives I had a health scare. I decided to go to the Maldives and enjoy my life and deal with what may be when I got back. Now that i’m back it was time to deal with that elephant in the corner. I had the test done on Thursday and it was today that I got the results back. I am happy to report that the results have gone from possible high grade pre-cancerous cells, to low grade. Further investigation is required and I will be headed to the hospital in the coming weeks to be poked and prodded to get an accurate diagnosis. Feeling much lighter about the situation at hand.

Since coming home, I really needed some sort of push of inspiration. To stop me laying around in bed snacking, to get me off my ass and start feeling good again. It was no more turquoise waters and warm sunny days, no more daily diving and guitar sessions with my pals, and I needed to suck it up. Who would have thought tucked up in bed watching reality TV show Masterchef that some words of wisdom from a world famous chef would be enough for me to kick over? I rarely, if ever watch TV, I believe its all a load of brainwashing garbage, but here I was... One of the contestants was having a bad day and the chef came out and said something along the lines of ‘it’s easy to beat yourself up about it, but you have to pull yourself up out of it’. 

When I heard those word, I contemplated them so much deeper. How beating yourself up is a cop-out, the easy action, I considered how piss-weak it was of me to just lay around beating myself up about things that I could easily change, but didn’t bother to. 

I know it’s all to common where we have moments when we are down, and sometimes we  bask in those feelings. But we need to draw a line on how long we stay down for and then pull ourselves back up. I’ve recognised i’m just having a lull at the moment.  It can’t be ‘all that glitters’ all the time. With a brighter looking bill of health, contemplation on some simple truths, I think i’m ready to turn it back around, make it glittery no matter what the conditions.

Happiness is a choice. Even if you are sad, be happy about being sad.

Still chasing the dream....

Kass xx

post Maldives depression

It is taking me quite a lot of courage to continue on writing this bog. Back at home, in cold Brisbane, rugged up in a blanket in my bed.. not so inspiring as the turquoise waters and endless ocean.

On my last evening in the Maldives, I enjoyed some BBQ fish on the beach with some of my pals. What would it be without a final midnight swim and making the most of the last hours I had left. It didn’t seem real, that I would actually walking away from Paradise and not coming back. I think I was in denial. I avoided saying goodbye as much as possible and when I did depart, it was with a ‘I’ll see you somewhere around the world in the next few years’. It was the type of place which attracted travelers. People who would work there for perhaps a couple of years, before moving onto the next. I can’t imagine not seeing my closest LG friends again, and I know that we will keep in touch and catch up along our way; or, at least that thought gives me some condolence. The last few days in the Maldives have proven to be very memorable. When I close my eyes, all I see is the blue seas, starry skies and glowing plankton in the sea. I still feel like a part of me is there, that I haven’t completely left. I think I will carry this forever.

Tuesday morning I was rudely put on a 6am staff charter seaplane, which meant i had 17 hours in Male until my flight! After some stuffing around, I ended up spending from about 9am - 7pm at a nearby hotel and sleeping by a swimming pool in the cool and overcast weather. It ended up being an expensive day, long and very tiring. Reality was starting to hit. Though I wanted the transit to be over and for me to be home already, I was starting to feel a hole in my heart, knowing I wouldn’t be going home to LG.

After a few hours at the airport, I headed to board my plane. Unfortunately I couldn’t make the most of the inexpensive cafe Patron (Tequila), as I was changing flights in Kuala Lumpur - where it happened to be more than double in price. After a rough flight to KL, with little sleep, I was worrying about collecting my bags and checking into my next flight in enough time. Thankfully my transit went quite smoothly and I was immediately making the most of a great wifi signal. The final leg home and I had a spare seat next to me, so I alternated between watching an hour of a movie, and sleeping for an hour. We arrived earlier than planned which was nice, but as per usual, the airspace in Brisbane was congested so we had to circle for 20 minutes before hitting the ground.

It was a quick walk through immigration, bag collection and then slid smoothly through customs. A teary arrival at the gate, before the long awaited drive home. The air was cool and unfamiliar, and I started to feel quite emotional about not being on my island home.

Thursday through Monday have been a flurry of social activity. Plenty of partying, napping, and eating far too much food. A few more days to catch up with the closest friends in my life, before kicking back and spending it with the absolute nearest and dearest to me, preferably by the beach! All the while, trying to figure out where the next step is going to be to.. There are plenty of ideas, but nothing really grabbing.

Each day my heart is a little sadder for having left the Maldives. I could nearly cry at the thought of no longer being there, but whether I like it or not, it’s time to move on. I had the most beautiful experiences of my life, in location I could only ever dream of existing. It’s time to give thanks, and release. 

K xx

Maldives - The final chapter

Monday evening I was invited to buffet dinner in he resort and enjoyed a wonderful feast. I think I ate my weight in pork - a real treat when you haven't had any for nearly 3 months! I completely gorged and don’t regret a thing! 

Tuesday I had a day off and I went on the boat for a private trip where we did three incredible dives. It was a long day, and I needed another day off to recover!  The first dive was a wreck, the second one was in a channel and the third one was a wall. The most incredible dive was the second one in the channel, there were half a dozen sharks, one came just a few short meters from me and I was pretty cool... until its eye ball connected with my eye ball! It was incredibly unnerving! We also saw a giant sting ray, a Massive Napoleon and Eagle rays. There was a mega strong current which when we then drifted in after holding on to watch the sharks, it was very cool. 

Between this dive and our last for the day, we saw dozens upon dozens of dolphins swimming past the boat. We jumped off with our snorkel gear and watched them swim and heard them speak, just beautiful. Then when we got back on the boat we watched them show off, flipping through the air. The third dive was very memorable, amongst all of the amazing creatures we saw, nothing compares to the 15-20 giant sea turtles, they were about the size of a Daewoo matiz! I was very happy to enjoy three wonderful dives at sites I hadn’t been to all before leaving the Maldives.

For the rest of the week I was teaching an open water course to some staff at the resort, I call them the dudes. They were great to teach and were so thankful at the end of the course. One of them in particular gave a very heartfelt thanks and said how he will always remember this experience. It was very touching.

Thursday evening we had a little gathering to farewell us interns. A ‘crepe party’. It was in the living room of our apartment block and sweet and savory crepes were all over the place, in and around all faces. We experimented with some combinations - cheese and nutella, nutella cheese and banana to name a few. It was a cruisy evening with people coming and going, some light music in the background and then of course me and the boys doing wheelies on bicycles out the front! haha

Most significant this week is that I achieved a couple of big personal milestones. This left me feeling very liberated! I can very happily leave here filling fufilled. 

Towards the end of the week I was so exhausted that I was really struggling to get through social evenings, shocking! I know... you can imagine just how tired I must have been!Sunday evening was the cocktail evening where I enjoyed my last glasses of Riesling, the sunset at Blu beach and the delicious finger food. Afterwards I met some of my pals where we chilled out on the beach having lots of laughs an good times.

Its now Monday, and to start the day I enjoyed an incredible breakfast with two of my good friends here at Blu beach. I have then spent the rest of the day pottering about and packing which I have really enjoyed. I find out this evening what time I depart tomorrow, fingers crossed it should be a late afternoon seaplane flight as I have a 9.30pm international one. I don’t know what Im going to do when I see a busy city, i think i will be dazed and confused as i venture out of my island home, back into the big world! 

I am happy to say that three months here has not flown by. In fact, it feels like it was much longer. It was jam packed and full of so much variety. I had times of long days, studying at night, stressing over exams and assessments, learning how to run the dive centre as well as conduct courses; late nights of laugher and stories over cold beers in the living room; evenings at the beach playing guitar and singing under a starlit sky; most importantly making friends who I feel that so many of them I will meet again in my travels.

There are some things that I am not going to miss, but thankfully its not  a lot. I don’t think its really going to hit me until i’ve settled in a couple days back home just how much it hurts me to be away from this life and even more so the people. 

There are many crazy and hilarious stories which are yet to be told, which I cant wait to share when i’m back home having a few drinks catching up on lost time with my pals.

Now it’s time to start looking for, and applying for jobs. If I don’t have something to fall into in July, I think i’m just going to hit the road and start traveling and see what I can pick up along the way. Until then, its parties, concerts and fun times when i’m home!

Tonight the boys are having a bbq on the beach which is one of my most favorite things here and I am so happy I get to enjoy this one more time. Grilled fish on the bbq with a backdrop of turquoise blue waters and a starry sky. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity to do what I am doing. For someone with virtually no experience, to ask for a chance, and be given that chance in one of the most incredible locations in the world is just mind blowing. Now i’m a dive instructor, and its time to travel the world and continue to do what I love.

Do what you love. 

Kassie xx